Fostering Challenges
by GraspingBlu
Summary: Bella has had it hard, mostly because she likes it that way. No one gets too close to her and she lives in her own little world. Will becoming a foster child to the Cullen family change her for the better or just shatter her more completely? AU COMPLETE
1. The lone awaited arrival

Fostering Challenges

Bella has had it hard, mostly because she likes it that way. No one gets too close to her and she lives in her own little world. Will becoming a foster child to the Cullen family change her for the better or just shatter her more completely? AU

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter one

The long awaited arrival

BPOV

"Could you at least not freak them out in the first second you enter their home? I mean really Bella that is a bit juvenile don't you think Miss I know everything and have the academic power to prove it!" Anna exclaimed as we got closer to foster family 47, a record breaker cross country I believe. I continued to stare out the window contemplating what I would do to make these people hate me. Maybe I'd climb a tree looks like there's enough of them here.

_Perhaps that is not the worst suggestion. _Alastor voice whispered through my mind, for a moment I had forgotten them. I sighed as I thought of all of the people I carried with me, literally carried. I could see and hear them though in small spaces they did me a favour and didn't appear, it kind of bothered me to have invisible people stand in front of a car and talk to me while it moved go figure.

_What climbing a tree? _I asked him in our odd form of thought talking, don't ask me how it works I don't have a clue it just does. Not to mention that I look far less crazy talking in my head rather than allowed. I was just thankful that I could screen my thoughts and that he didn't hear everything going on in my head.

_Surprisingly no, her suggestion of playing nice I realize you like your space from normal people but is this insanity really quite necessary? _He stated sarcastically, he had a point but I don't think that letting people in only to be hated by them or thought to be crazy was a good idea. I mean foster parents want nice and easy children without the fuss of them being small and needed right? So why would they want to care for someone like me. I mean I might be schizophrenic after all and no one likes the idea of a strange crazy person living with them unguarded.

_It is for the best, I don't want to get hurt by people that I don't know or care about. I just want to be left alone really. But since the system has decided I am too young to live alone house jumping is the only option left that I can deal with. How about you guys leave and let me be normal and then I'll meet some new people and be nice._ It was an old argument but I had my wounds and I just wanted to heal by myself and be normal. Is it too much to ask for? Normality, I am plain on the outside but I have too many people in my head to ever be normal on the inside.

I let my thoughts drift to the people Anna was driving me to live with, they already had five kids. They were all older than me, odd but not unheard of cause some three I think were foster kids and the other two were related to the mom. I was going to be a Cullen, great. I mean seriously they must have a thing for forced labor to want so many teenaged kids. Anna had said that Esme, I think, couldn't have kids but really wanting yet another teen instead of a baby was kinda weird. Oh well I get to be kid number six I guess.

"Earth to Bella!" Anna sighed as I came back to the real world. I looked at her asking what silently. Oh yeah to make things even more interesting I don't talk much. Anna will get a few statement every once in a while but I don't like the idea of getting too close to her. Not with her being near constantly in my life. She might figure out that I am nuts, or at least delusional.

"Come on honey there's no reason to be nervous, or angry." She said trying to get a calmer facial expression from me. Apparently my anger at Alastor was showing I just hate to be thought of badly by people and so I hide. Not the healthiest but for me the best solution to a no win life. I looked at Anna she was really nice and I hated that I hurt her by not talking and forcing families to send me back but really it was for the best.

She read something in my face that made her sad; sometimes it was nice to have an open face but not now. Her frown hurt me, "Bella love stop feeling so guilty. I know you really don't like the idea of living with people you don't know. But honestly these are good people, a little odd but good." She said while her eyes moved back and forth from me to the road. I nodded and turned to look out the window and contemplated being nice to the Cullen family for the umpteenth time.

_It wouldn't kill you to listen to her_ Alastor stated before he left me to my thoughts. Anna said they were odd, I wonder how odd. Carlisle Cullen was a doctor in the small town of Forks, his wife did some historical restorations every once in a while and they had five teenaged kids. Two were my age, Alice and Edward I believe, and the other three were the same age, Rosalie and Jasper were twins and then Emmet. It looked like the wanted and even number of boys and girls, maybe they were making a pop band. Gah. Not likely but still.

****

Anna missed the turn off for the Cullen home three times! It was hilarious but I knew that it was frustrating her to no end so I said nothing about spotting it the second two times we passed. It would do nothing but make her angrier at herself.

Once we had turned into the apparently long drive to the Cullen house I looked around me stunned at the beauty of the green and so very alive forest that would soon surround my new home. I had decided to play nice but that only meant not forcing them to fear for their safety or hate me. My speaking was probably not going to be happening well not likely, and the self isolating is just a part of who I am really.

Finally a house came into view and my mouth fell open as I gaped at the overwhelming beauty and size of the Cullen home. They had to come from money; I mean doctor yes but five teenagers' kinda kills the pay on that. I was expecting a not run down but used house not a three story house that was about a hundred years old and looked like it had been redone and perfectly at that. Dang.

"Beautiful, isn't it? I had the same look on my face when I first saw it too, though you may want to rearrange your face tough guy." Anna joked, I looked at her laughing. Yeah I guess I do look at any home they place me in as though it's a rat-hole but come on who in their right mind could think that about this place. My laughter had put a smile back on Anna face, wiping away her frustration; it was nice to be the cause of a smile instead of a grimace.

Stopping right at the front of the house I stared at it and wondered if the people I was about to meet would match this house. If so I guess we might get along but if not then I was screwed.

"Esme! Carlisle! It's lovely to see you two again after so long!" Anna called; I turned to look at them as I got out of the car. They were young, really young, like late twenties at most. They had such old names I expected an old married couple in their late fifties. She was beautiful, classic and elegant the fact that she screamed maternal love just made her unreal, like meeting a fairy tale princess. Her caramel hair just reached her shoulders, her pale skin only made her eyes pop even more the amber orbs held excitement and joy. Carlisle was compose and regal but they shared that unbelievably gorgeous smile. His blond hair nearly as pale as his skin and the same amber eyes gazed out benevolent and kind.

These two were to be my foster parents, wow hopefully the whole family wasn't this beautiful or I was going to be the sore one out. At least we would match in the pale department but that would be it. I finally stopped staring in their direction and went to get my bags, it was another of my quarks no eye contact. It was a good thing I had a perfect memory or else people would all look the same to me. Trying to pull myself into a coherent and not freaked person was hard, I had my bags as I felt someone beside me.

"I can take those." He said as I stared out in front of me, how had he gotten so close to me? I heard a low hiss as I turned to look in the direction of the voice.

_He's a vampire Bella. The whole family is. _Alastor's voice filled me as the words hit home. Fear like nothing I felt before filled me. I wanted to scream and run away but I controlled myself barely before the instinct took hold. _I do not believe they intend you harm. It is unusual, their eyes are not red, and they live within the human society. I will look into it further. _I felt Alastor leave my side as he said these words; I tried to continue my turn. I nodded and tried to smile though it was obviously more of a grimace. Alastor would not leave me if they were going to... eat me. I chanted this as I moved towards the house.

"Bella, this is Esme and Carlisle Cullen and Edward who has your bags." Anna introduced, for the benefit of none it was her way to being conversations between me and them. I never spoke but she tried each time. I nodded and tried to slow my heart, I was going to be living in the same house as vampires. Nice. I would fit in here... well more then they did at least.

"It is lovely to meet you Bella!" The melodic voice that obviously belonged to Esme welcomed, it was calming and helped me slow my heart. A soft smile graced my face as I bobbed my head; my eyes were glued to the ground so the fear would not return. How had I not noticed that they looked like Alastor? It was so obvious now. I was analyzing everything as I walked up the steps to enter the house, it was much to public to adopt a child then eat them. So what was the point of having me here? I was pondering this when I walked into Anna's back.

"Oops!" I mumbled as I took a step back to steady myself. Suddenly I felt a lot more eyes on me; I guess no one expected me to speak. I could feel Anna beaming at me, it was nice but my mind was already doing somersaults and so I couldn't smile at Anna. I blushed but that was about the only response I couldn't control stupid blush!

"Why don't you sit and we can talk and get to know each other?"A male said, the voice was strong and kind so I assumed that it was Carlisle. I would have to gaze at something other then the floor in order to find out. Anna took my hand knowing there was no way I was going to look at anything but the floor. She directed me to a seat which I gladly took and stared at my hands. Deciding that Alastor would be laughing at me for being so nervous I finally lifted my head and gazed out at my new home. It was very open and light, with a vast wall of glass looking out into the forest. My heart finally managed to get to a some what normal rhythm as I looked out.

"I don't think you'll be hearing much more from Bella. She really isn't much of a talker." Anna replied still overjoyed that anything came out of my mouth. I rolled my eyes at her understatement on how little I spoke. I could tell that they were studying me as I responded to Anna. "But she's such an open book that her face tells you what she's thinking anyway." I blushed purple as Anna said that, oh the horror. I hate to be such an open book but it has made silence so much easier. My head bowed as I tried to get rid of the blush. I heard a few soft chuckles and knew that they understood completely what I thought. Dang.

_From what I can tell they do not consume human blood. _ I jump at Alastor's comment; he just had to walk up behind me like that. My blush went even deeper, well that is just plain mean.

_**Could you not scare the wits out of me!**_ I knew that I had the attention of everyone in the room, but I could feel eyes on me that were much more intrigued. I raised my head and found that it was Edward's gaze that had increased interest. Great now I have an intrigued vampire, peachy. He seemed to not like my thought, he wanted me to stay here with his family? I really took in Edward's appearance then, he had coppery brown hair that looked like it had been styled into disarray like a boy band singer... bad thought! Bad thought! he was lean but i bet he had more muscle then he appeared to have.

_My apologies. _Alastor chuckled slightly before continuing _I believe that you are not in danger from these vampires. They seem to thirst for you but have no intentions of harming you or any human. But be warned Edward is a telepath, Alice seems to be able to see glimpses of the future and there is something also extra about Jasper but I am not sure. _Alastor finished his review of the family. So they were nice vampire's that weren't going to eat me. But why bring a human into the vampire world it is extremely dangerous. It was the thought of Esme's joy that told me that the wished to raise a child and I was the one offered.

_**So... I'm staying? **_ I questioned, as once again Edward's gaze intensified this time though he seemed amused. Well I was asking if i was going to be living with a family of vampire's that is kinda funny. Oh he could hear all my conversation with Alastor. Oops. _It is rather rude to intrude into another person's mental conversations you know?_ I waited for him to reply in some way. He made no such move. Hmmm. Alastor was watching Edward while we spoke.

_He does not seem to hear me. But when you speak to me he hears. I am not sure if he can hear your personal thoughts though. It is quite intriguing actually. I wonder if he would be able to hear your thoughts if you did not have us. _I rolled my eyes at that, its not like that would ever change, the people I carry were never going to leave me. I thought of their faces and could hear them conversing down by the river on the Cullen land. I was thankful that they had given me some more space while trying to figure out what was going on. They were good people; thankfully, they were my family, which was why I liked to self isolate and enjoy their company. I mean how many people have a 649 year old vampire, a geneticist, a painter and a philosopher running around their head. And were sane, I was pretty sure about that so, I was probably the only one ever.

Edward never reacted to my thoughts so I deemed it safe as long as I didn't project he wouldn't know about the others, they were safe. I'm a little overprotective of them, as the die with me so well who wouldn't do their best to keep them safe? I was brought back to reality by a madly waving Alastor which was amusing but then that's why he did it.

"... it seems as though we have forgotten to introduce everyone. This is Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmet." Esme said smiling she was talking to me and not to Anna as most people do when they figure out I won't reply. The four that had just entered the room took their seats. It was nice to be included; I nodded to each of the ones introduced with a small smile on my lips.

"It is really nice to meet you! I have always wanted another sister!" Exclaimed Alice as she bounced in place, she seemed to have a lot of energy. Then again she looked like a pixy with her short hair sticking out in spikes all around her face. I had to admit her energy was infectious, though Edward and some of her siblings shook their heads' at her antics. I smiled at her though my eyes took in everyone in the room. Jasper was much taller then the pixy he sat beside with curly darker blond hair, I could make out the scars that marked his skin thanks to Alastor's borrowed vision. He was still very handsome with the scars, I pondered what it was, what gift he had. Rosalie looked like a goddess come to mortal form, blond flowing locks and perfect facial structure. It was easy to easy she had always been beautiful being a vampire only enhanced it. Emmet was next to her holding her hand, hmmm... they seemed to be mates, and Jasper and Alice were probably also mates. That left Edward as the odd one out, that must suck. Emmet was big, very big but he looked like a knight next to a princess, and there was something softer in his eyes.

More time had passed then I was aware and Anna was being to look like it was time for her to leave. I titled my head to her and nodded, it was time for her to go she had a long drive and didn't need to do it in the dark. She smiled at me and then got up from the seat next to me.

"It's time for me to get going. I hope that this works out for everyone." Anna stated it was a common line from her but I felt that it might be possible for me to stay in this unusual house and to not feel the need to protect every one of my secrets. She leaned down and I hugged her gently, she kissed the top of my head and turned to leave. "Have a good night and I'll see you in a few weeks!" she said and left the room, I made no move to follow her. Instead I got up and went to the wall of windows and stared into the late afternoon. It was a beautiful home filled with beautiful people, but still I did not know if they were going to be able to deal with me or I them.

"You've had a long day. I hope we are going to get along, and that you'll call this place home." Said Esme as she approached me from behind, trying not to frighten me by being directly behind me with no notice. I turned to her and smiled softly, only time would tell if we could work out, but I would enjoy her company. I had never had a mother and she seemed to embody everything that I longed for. We stood in silence looking out at the day, I felt no discomfort in this silence it was natural and light. I knew that even if I hated everything else I adored Esme already.


	2. Secrets with Secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter two

Secrets with secrets

BPOV

I opened my eyes to the light streaming in through the window; it took me a moment to realize I was no longer facing west but east in a new room. I sat up feeling my mind clearing, it was a nice room, almost too nice I wanted to tell them I like plainer things but well... that didn't happen. Alice seemed to have a shopping addiction and begged me to let her take me shopping a buy a new wardrobe. I agreed only because I could tell she loved the idea of us bonding and shopping, and Lenora hadn't gone shopping in a few months. Between the two of them it was like I was on happy pills.

I managed to get Len to agree to only buy 7 outfits, she was so happy she spent the rest of the night planning what colors she had in mind. I have never been one for shopping but if she was going to have fun I could share that with her. Lenora, Len or Nora for short, is one of the people I carry. She's 27 and was enrolled in fashion and design school before she died. Yeah the line I see dead people really applies to me, I hated that movie by the way it was so obvious. Anyway she loves to pick out things or work with material; I let her dress and style me. Its fun because I can feel her joy and excitement in what she's doing. If I have to shop she comes with me well more as a part of me.

You see I can hold one person in me, well of the people that are in my head. Yes I know I am nuts thanks! I feel what she does and know what she knows. It isn't like I become her or she me more like I get a mix of her emotions and stuff and let that lead me. I still hear her voice but I can't see her. I think of it as the closest thing to being one, that's why they are my family I know them so well and they know me. It's nice to be understood by those that you love.

The schedule today is merely a shopping spree with Alice. Looking to Len she came over and sat on the bed. _You know shopping isn't that bad right, you always look like it's painful. I know you don't like to go without me but it's not a horrible task! And you call yourself a normal sixteen year old girl! _She said a smile on her lips; it was the norm for Len to make fun of me when it came to shopping. I smiled back and shook my head.

_**I hate shopping, that's not the end of the world. I'm sure Alice will make it fun. **_I remarked, editing the way that I replied so that Edward would think it was merely a pep talk to myself. This was just complicated, I was glad that in my dreams I could speak freely to them as it was more internal when I was unconscious. They knew I would be making weird non-comments to them while the Cullen's could hear, it was nice when they suggested that they also alter their speech if they had a simple question so I could nod or shake my head. It was really nice of them to change their lives for me.

_Your weird but I love you anyway; now lets get this on with shall I sit on you? _Lenora asked giggling; she always referred to joining as sitting on me. I giggled and nodded, and she lay to align herself with my body. Once it was all correct she vanished into me. It was a bit odd but I had adjusted to it when I was really little and Alastor protected me. It was weird that even different sizes we fit together perfect, all of us.

_Everyone ready, campers? _ I asked Lenora, she giggled at my stupid question. _Then we shouldn't keep Alice and shopping waiting!_ With that Len's excitement and joy coursed through me, and I was just as eager as she was to get going and get some 'decent' clothes. I rolled my eyes as we got dressed and made our way to Alice's room.

Just outside our door she appeared looking impatient and crazy happy. Smiling and just as keen we made our way to her side and grabbed her hand and began walking to the stairs. She giggled at our actions but kept pace.

"Last night you didn't seem to want to go shopping! I'm glad I managed to change your mind!" Alice stated as we made our way to the garage. I was totally lost without Alice so I had to wait as she kissed Jasper goodbye. They were mates, definitely but they both seemed so in love that their display made me smile, while tapping my foot impatiently.

_Gees impatient enough Len? I feel like running there!_ I said in jest.

_I can't help that I am excited gees it's been months since I have been in an actual mall or for that matter a decent shop! _She replied in horror. I giggled at that. Alice seemed to realise I was still standing there when she had moved towards the door; oops no time for inner conversations when there was shopping to do. Quickly we moved to the door and out to the car and on our way to shopping!

****

"Wow, a day never flew so fast!" Alice exclaimed as we made our way to the till to pay for the final load of clothing. "You're a really good shopper Bella! I mean I would never have seen those jeans, or that beautiful dress! Thanks!" she exclaimed pulling out her card as I laid the clothing down. I rolled my eyes but smiled, it was true that Len had seen a flash of fabric and just had to know what it was, but the jeans were a total fluke, apparently they were the best cut for my body but they had been put in the wrong pile.

_She's right, you are a good shopper, or perhaps I am the best shopper in the world and finally I am rubbing off on you!_ She giggled mutely, it was nice to hear her totally happy and content, sadly nothing did that but a really long day of shopping. The outfits had started to run together in my head as I thought back. _Thank you for doing this for us, it was really nice of you. I mean nearly two hours in a change room is a lot for you._ I smiled at that thought grabbing the bags and following Alice back to the car for the final drop and drive. I was totally exhausted it was only the shopping high that Len was on that kept me walking.

The bags wouldn't fit in the packed trunk, and so spilled over into the back of the car. Len pushed away from me with one last thanks. My eyes fluttered as she left, I was feeling the full force of a shopping day with Alice now. Turning to her I smiled and closed my eyes. She seemed to understand and drove us back to the house; it would be a little while before it was home. My mind wandered to many places but mostly I kept thinking about my interesting mind reading vampire. Wait! When had he become mine?! I mean he is well... hot... no more like beautiful, handsome or gorgeous. Drat I had a crush on a vampire who was also my foster brother... normal Bella normal! Would he find out about me? Or would Alice or Jasper? I hated this I had secret on top of secrets.

But so did they right? I mean its a big thing to keep the secret of vampires in the world. Would they promise to keep mine if I kept theirs? Well their secret would only cost me my life so obviously I would keep it. But mine... I wasn't sure if I truest them all that much. Alice maybe, Esme yes definitely and well I guess Carlisle too, but the others? My head began to ache and it had nothing to do with shopping.

****

"Hey Bella? We're home Bella. Time to wake up." Alice said smoothly as we drove up the long drive. I blinked my eyes and sat straighter stretching out my stiff body. Glancing at the clock only two hours had passed; it took longer if you didn't drive like a nutcase. Oh well there was a bed calling to me in that house and the few steps it would take to get there would be well worth it. Realising we had loads of bags made me want to cry, so much for the bed this would take a bit of time.

"Why don't you head to bed or the kitchen and get something to eat then bed? I can get Jasper and the boys to help me." She said looking at me, I wanted to nodded but I wasn't about to make others do my work. I shook my head and went to get out of the car. I held onto the door for dear life, I was a little more tired then I thought. Oh well, I shook myself and made my way to the back of the car. Before I got very far I noticed that Jasper and Edward had come out to give us a hand. I was relieved and a little angry I could do this even if I fell on my face doing it.

"Hey Ali need a hand?" He asked as he stopped behind her wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. She nodded turning to hug him; Edward was opening the trunk as I finally got there. I was moving way too slow for my liking. He looked at me as I approached the back of the car.

"You look like you were run over by a semi." He said a smile on his lips; I shrugged and went to grab some of the bags when my feet slipped out from under me. Before I could hit the ground Edward caught me, my eyes were wide as he brought me back to a standing position. Well that was one way to get some adrenaline in your system, I started laughing as he let go of me. I really had to be less of a klutz when I'm tired. Edward looked really confused by my laughter; I grabbed the bags I had gone for before still laughing.

I walked back to the house giggling; Alice caught up to me a big smile on her face. I put the first load on the floor near where Alice had put hers and went back for a second load. The boys had gotten most of it but what was in the back seat. As we walked back I finally managed to stop laughing, looking at the house I realized it felt more welcoming then any of the others and was glad to be staying here.

I sat on the floor of the room and began to sort through the bags looking for what we had gotten for me. It was needless to say that I had gotten more then 7 outfits but it was worth it, just to laugh like that. Alice sat beside me and began to help me sort and repack clothing. It was a nice little activity to put an end to my first day with the Cullens.

"I don't mean to pry but why were you laughing so hard before?" Jasper's voice was filled with laughter though he never actually laughed. I thought about it and didn't really have an answer; I shrugged with a huge smile on my face. _**Sometimes you just end up laughing about nearly falling on your butt.**_ I thought knowing that Edward would hear and most likely tell his brother. I heard nothing but Jasper smiled and nodded as if I had.

"There we go." Said Alice as she put the last of her things in the bags she would take to her room. As I was picking up the nine full bags that were mine I notice that five were already off the floor. I looked up and realized Edward and stolen the others. I cocked an eyebrow in question and pointed to my bags; he seemed to understand the obvious question.

"I figure I can help you carry them to your room like Jasper is helping Alice." He said clearly amused by me, I noticed the two leave each with bags. I guess it made sense, I stood and signed thank you in American Sign Language, and Edward looked shocked but smiled after a second. "Your welcome" He said as I started towards the stairs. I nodded and continued hoping I wouldn't get lost and go into the wrong room. I had never stayed in a house this large before unless it was a government institution for social services. I managed to find my room and was relieved to set my new things down. I was slightly worried at how much Alice and I had spent but tried to not worry about it too much. Alice may go overboard but I think she knows her limits. "You didn't bring much with you." Edward stated putting his bags with the ones I had put on the bed. I turned about the room and shrugged, I don't have many things that I want to keep with me. I began to sort through the cloths and put them up in the closet and in the cupboards as Edward looked at the few things I had brought.

I had an old tribal knife from somewhere in Peru that was a gift from a friend when I lived in Seattle, he travelled loads but was a nice enough foster father. A small frame held a picture I drew while joined with Samuel of my family. It was nice to see a picture of all of us together like that, made them more real I guess. Edward was lingering there holding the picture in his hands looking both confused and kind of surprised. I had forgotten that Alastor was in that picture, did he know him? No Alastor would have told me. I approached him and took the picture from his hands and held it against my chest. I'm a little overprotective of the picture but he looked like he might crush it by accident. Without saying anything he fled the room, it was an odd response. I wonder what he saw in my picture to make him forget himself.

_He saw me. _Josephine replied sadly to my unspoken question. _Forgive me I didn't realise who he was, I realise now that had I only looked I would have known him. He... his parents and mine were very well acquainted. I was quite smitten with him but he was not interested in me, not that way he sought the glories of war not of family life. _I could hear the pain in Joe's voice and wished I could give her a hug. I looked at her and showed my desire to comfort her and she smiled sadly at me. There's no time like the present to bare your heart to people your not entirely sure about.

This would be interesting to say the least. I made my way to the front room where Alastor told me they had gathered Joe followed me with a grim expression and tears in her eyes. I begged silently that this not cause harm to my family of theirs.


	3. Crossing divides

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter three

Crossing divides

BPOV

I continued down the hallway, making it to the stairs before I felt like running. Pretty impressive considering this could end up hurting someone quite badly. What can I say I'm a chicken when it comes to familial conflicts or my own personal mental family. I slowly made my way down the stairs very aware that they could hear my very heart beat; it was going nuts so this was sure to be fantastic. Turning the corner I looked into the room and saw a very confused Edward lost in thought and a very worried family gathered around him. I had caused this guilt and pain bloomed in my heart, I was too attached to this family, much too attached. Jasper looked from me to his brother and tried to find a connection to whatever it was his gift was.

_He's an empath. He has sense and probably can control the emotions in the room. He can feel your guilt and so knows that you caused Edward's reaction. Whatever that may be he just seemed confused to me. _Alastor explained to me while I tried to come up with a way to explain this. To make it better, that I meant no harm and to apologise for hurting him. Tears streaked my face as I tried to think of a way to make this better. Joe's pain was leaking to me and I was beginning to fall apart. I felt a wave of calm hit me but this pain was not my own and so it did nothing but take my emotions and leave me with Josephine's. My tears fell faster and I began to gasp.

_I'm sorry.... it hurts to know that he did not have his life and that I have hurt him. Please let him forgive me. _Joe pleaded to me, though she knew I couldn't speak. I felt hands encircle my waist and hold me as I fell to my knees. Wave after wave of calm splashed around me but I could not take them into myself. My breathing was getting rapid enough that I might pass out. As the pain slowly began to lighten I realised that Alastor had taken Josephine away. I began to look for her but I was being held in someone's arms. Looking up into very concerned eyes, I relaxed into Jasper and the calm the he exuded. I was sure he felt my gratitude, but I smiled up at him anyway.

He guided me to the sofa and Esme brought me a glass of water, I blushed and felt horrible for distracting them from Edward. I looked over at him and his eyes caught mine and I stare into him, I couldn't help it. I had to know if he was okay, I was worried but it seemed to be over me. I tried to smile at him and failed horribly, but he seemed to understand.

"I am fine. Are you alright Bella?" He asked his concern was genuine so I nodded my head still embarrassed at my little scene earlier. With that thought I remembered Joe, I once again went to look for her but this time Carlisle held me back from my task.

"Bella has this sort of thing ever happened to you before?" he asked in a calm professional voice, I sat back as he knelt in front of me. I thought on that for a moment, I nodded; yes this has happened before usually when another was added to my own. They became apart of me and so their pain became my own, but Joe was not new. This was old pain newly felt with guilt and agony at the thought of him losing his dreams and mortal life. His soul, I knew that was the center of most of her pain, that he had lost his soul. "Are there any lasting affect after such an episode?" Carlisle asked once again pulling my attention away from Joe. I shook my head, I just needed to find her and console her and it wouldn't happen again. But how was I to do that, she believed him damned?

Another wave of calm washed over me as I felt the despair press against me. I needed to find Joe; I pushed up from the couch and moved to the wall of glass looking for where Alastor had moved Joe too. I could feel their eyes on me but she was more important to me right now, she was in pain. _**Where are you?**_ I asked knowing someone would tell me. I felt Edward move to me as if I had asked where he was, it made me smile that he would try to answer my question.

_She is by the stream. _ Will answered as he approached the house, _give her time Bella. She is not ready to speak about this new and heartbreaking loss. _I nodded solemn and pained by the depth of her hurt. How could she think him damn when he seemed to be perfectly fine to me.

_**I will**_ I replied softly turning to Edward I looked into his eyes, _**You are not damned. **_I gave him a hug and at first he was shocked by my hug then his arms wrapped around my back. He is so kind, how could he be damn, I know that devils can be beautiful but why then would they care for others as they do. There is no profit in befriending a lost youth. It was odd to touch another person that was so new to me, but it felt right so I did not pull away until he did. I looked up at him and smiled softly. It was too easy to get lost in his eyes, I found myself breaking old rules and staring into them.

"Are you alright?" he asked his voice low, I nodded and walked to the couch and sat once again planning of how to tell them the truth. I gave in and decided that it could wait for another time, I was a coward. I had hurt them let them begin this. "What happened earlier? Did me leaving you upstairs cause it?" his voice was soft but held guilt and responsibility. I shook my head _**it wasn't my pain. **_I looked at my hands and tried to find the words, the will to explain to them how much I had come to care for a family I had known but one day. I was unable to in the end but I knew Jasper had sensed my feelings and felt a bit better that at least he could tell them.

"I am sorry to have caused you pain." I whispered simply. My voice was still rough from the lack of use, but I knew they all had heard me clearly. I could feel tears trailing down my face yet again. They were shocked to hear my voice and yet I could feel the joy from Esme and Carlisle and perhaps Edward and Alice. Jasper wiped away my tears as Esme knelled in front of me taking my hands.

"You have not caused any pain my dear. Edward was merely startled by something." She replied gently though I knew better then to believe I was comforted by the effort. I shook my head, I knew I had hurt him, though it was indirect and without intention. I realised I had brought the picture down with me and moved to go and get it but Edward had notice my gaze resting on the item and brought it to me before I could even move to stand. He placed it in my hands and sat beside me as Jasper moved over. I pointed to Josephine's face in the right corner, I looked at him and waited for him to realise I knew he knew her as my throat had gone dry.

"How could you... Did you?..." babbled in disbelief. I nodded slightly and knew that in some way he understood that I was different, very different from most people. _**She told me. **_I told him simply.

_You really aught to tell them allowed, so they can all hear. _This came from Alastor as he re-entered the room. I nodded to him and began to try to tell them, when Edward looked at me and seemed to realise something much more.

"You know that I can read your mind!" he exclaimed truly shocked. I looked down and nodded yet again, could not speak passed the large lump in my throat and so stopped trying. Jasper sent a wave of calm though this time it was much less affective, I turned and smiled at him but tears ran down my cheeks ruining the small smile. He looked surprised that I would turn to him. "You seem to know everything." Edward said this time suspicion clear in his velvet voice; I was now a potential enemy. My heart fell as they reacted just as I feared. I was a threat something to be removed and disposed of.

"Edward!" Alice yelled hitting him across the back of head, judging by the sound. "You're hurting her!" I wanted to laugh at how she had said something so normal in this odd situation but I couldn't find the will to even try to smile. I let the tears run down my face and tried to pull myself into my own agony and forget the world, but Jasper sent a wave of calm at me and I failed. I sat there in a hell I had no idea would come for me.

_Bella _I heard many voices call, I looked to see my family coming towards me with varying expressions of worry. The collective what's wrong rang in my head. I smiled at this my family cared, if nothing else I had them. Even if I could never hug them or touch them I had them with me always. It was nice and painful but I managed to push myself up and deal with the situation around me.

_**I am sorry to have hurt you Edward. It was not my intention; I did not know what or who you were. Not until I arrived and was told. Forgive me. I can leave tonight if you wish. **_I apologised to Edward while trying to push myself up off the couch. I managed to move a few steps away before my strength gave out and I fell to my knees. It did not matter to me that my tears blinded me or that I hurt intensely all that mattered was not hurting him or his family. I felt someone knell down beside me and wrap their arms around me, how I craved this contact. But it was not what I could have, I struggled to get free. _** Please let go.... please, please.... let go. **_ I begged as more tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't feel anything but the strength of the arms that held me.

"I am sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything." Edward said this as he knelt in front of me, I could see his blurry face as he lifted my face to look at him. He wiped away my tears as he spoke. I wanted so badly for his words to be true but I knew I have damaged if not completely destroyed any chance I had to stay. They had to think I was absolutely nuts at this point.

"Hey none of that." Jasper said, apparently he was the one holding me. I tried to calm down but it only seemed to make the tears come faster then before. I wanted to stay here with them so badly that it was being to hurt me. In some part of my mind that I was still struggling to get away from the cold arms that held me and that I was hurting myself but it made no bearing on my efforts.

"Bella listen to me you need to calm down, your going to hurt yourself." Carlisle added to the voices wishing me comfort, I finally stopped even trying to get out of Jasper's arms. Esme and Carlisle appeared behind Edward in front of me. I felt like a blubbering idiot and a burden, my flash of self-hatred managed to stem the tears but did nothing to calm me. I could only imagine them trying to be kind to the pathetic human in their home.

"I'm going to let you go okay? No more trying to leave." Jasper whispered this in my ear and I was thankful for his tact. His arms slowly loosened around me and finally vanished. I felt the absence keenly and did my best to hide my despair. "It's nice to know you like me." He said taking hold of my hand and sending me waves of calm. I was so grateful to him for his kindness and ability to control my outbursts. I could hear all of my family echoing kind words and knew that they longed to be able to hold me. Looking up and out I looked at each one of them and we shared the knowledge that I wanted that just as much as they did.

Carlisle checked to make sure that I had not hurt myself while struggling in Jasper's arms. I had bruised myself but there was no permanent damage. I sat there and waited for my voice to return to apologise for the random outbursts. Esme sat beside me and put her arm around me humming a soft melody that was very comforting I found myself leaning into her. Alastor pulled me back from near sleep but moments later.

_They need to know Bella, I know you're tired and this has taken a lot from you but this needs to be addressed. They need to understand. _I nodded and opened my eyes to the room in which I sat cradled by Esme. Jasper had his arms around Alice but both were looking at me and Esme, Carlisle was sitting in the chair closest to Esme with his eyes on her and Edward was sitting on top of the coffee table looking at nothing really. It was odd the room was actually pretty happy, no more contented. Edward's eyes found mine as I opened my mouth to begin to explain this night to them.

"I am..." was as far as I got before Edward and Jasper started to laugh. I was confused but enjoyed the sound of their laughter too much to mind the interruption.

"If you apologise one more time Bella..." Edward said allowing his voice to trail off a smile brightening his words. I smiled at his apparent happiness. I nodded slightly and realised that everyone had a smile on their face odd.

"Okay." I replied, "I just want to try and explain how this is... as it is." The words wouldn't come to me as I tried to straighten out my mind. "I'm not exactly normal." At this everyone burst into laughter, it was a rather obvious statement and yet I could find no better words to begin with. Alice's laughter matched Jasper's, bass and soprano, as did Carlisle and Esme's though in a completely different way more like the same note held by two voices. Edward's was music to me, beautiful and it matched him perfectly. I listened to their laughter until finally it ended. "Glad to be a source of laughter." I said in a light happy voice, finally it began to behave as though I spoke more then once a year. It was smiles all around at that comment; they could tell I meant it. "I am not alone in life; I carry my family with me. Well no, I carry the family that has found me within me." I stated looking at them as I said this, they smiled at me and I smile at them.

"I'm not sure we understand you Bella." Edward said softly, I nodded and tried to explain it more simply.

"I have no biological family that lives. But I have met... people that have become my family. They vary greatly in age and race but they each sought to find me... after they died." I finished not sure where to look as they reacted to my words. I cast my eyes to the ground and waited.

"You mean to say that you see dead people?" Jasper asked this question with a light tone, I could only nod. I hated to think that they would mock me in this, but it is a hard fact to believe.

"Just as you are vampires, my family is dead and they visible and audible only to me." I said my tone harsher then I had intended. I hate to be mocked about something important to me. My statement got their attention and made them consider the plausibility of my statement.

"You know this?" Carlisle asked me very gently but I could hear the curiosity in his voice.

"Yes, Alastor told me when he first realised what you were. Not the nicest thing to say outright to a human but he believed and confirms that you don't harm humans, you drink animal blood. Just as Josephine told me that she knew Edward." I confirmed. Edward's went wide when I mentioned her name. Jasper must have thought something then because Edward's head spun to look at him. "Oh, you must have felt my panic, sorry." I looked at Jasper and he merely rolled his eyes. "Joe's pain must have been uncomfortable... could you feel it?"I asked curious if he had felt it, he seemed to contemplate his answer.

"I'm not sure, maybe I only felt what you felt. But then is your family in this room with us?" he pondered, I nodded that they were and he smiled. "Well I guess that is a yes I can feel them though only around you, it's as if it all comes from you." He said intrigued by his own logic. I guess it would make sense that anything they 'sensed' of my family would come from me. They are a part of me after all, I gazed at them happy in the knowledge that we're one.

_That's a nice thought._ Mary said getting nods from most others.

_Of course we are one, both in essence and in truth. _This from surprisingly John, he never said much but has always felt deeply that we are a true family. I smiled at him and he nodded and blushed slightly. I could tell that the Cullens realised I was talking to others.

"Who is Alastor?" asked Carlisle who seemed to be lost in thought. I smiled.

"The first to join my family and the eldest be a landslide. He is a vampire." I said my eyes lingering on him, he found me when I was no more then 4 and saved me from certain death. It is probably through our bond that I have survived most of my life. Alastor bowed to me and soon the family dispersed, most to check on poor Joe, I giggled at Alastor and waved goodbye. "Their going to give us some privacy while I answer your questions, though I think most just want to comfort Joe." I said to explain my wave. I let my head fall to Esme's shoulder tired of holding it up and for the comfort she brought. I could tell that she was happy to have me so comfortable with her, as Carlisle smile grew as my head fell.

"Have you ever considered that..." Jasper started and stopped half way through. I smiled as I thought about this silly question of sanity.

"You mean have I ever considered that I was nuts? Yup, every other day! But the evidence kinda points in the other direction." I said laughing; it was nice to have that sorted out. "Either this is real or nothing in life is real, don't really mind either way." I said shrugging; it was a simple truth that kept going. He smiles at my ease with the question.

"So your nuts or this is one giant dream?" Edward summed up, I smiled at that.

"Pretty much." I said amused by his amusement. He shook his head at me but I could tell it was just a funny way to look at life, well to him at least.

"Weirdo." Alice stated with a grin on her face. "I mean really I see the future in visions but dead people in constant delusions is just too much." She said her tone completely serious. I laughed at her until my eyes blurred from tears.

"Well I guess we can't be sisters then." I said once I managed to get myself deadpan. She giggled at this nearly setting me off again.

"Good I didn't want you for a sister anyway!" she said barely able to contain her laughter before she finished. We were both laughing like hyenas once she finished, everyone joined us after a moment. Esme wiped the tears that streamed down my face once we had finished laughing. I just beamed up at her unable to move and trying to catch my breath. Dang vampires recovered much too quickly from laugh attacks. Her face was filled with joy as she looked down at me.

"I didn't even do that!" Jasper said in mock surprise, I smiled and managed to roll over onto my stomach to look at him.

"Course not. The insanity of tonight led to the point where only hysterical laughter at something amusing could cure." I replied, just happy to know that I hadn't messed everything up. "Ugh, I feel like I've been hit by a bus." I said dropping my head to the ground. I heard a few chuckles and then cold arms picking me up. My eyes shot open, it was Jasper that had picked me up. "If you keep holding me I might not want you to ever let go." I said sadness filling my voice at the end. He looked down at me. "My family can't physically touch me, ever." I explained softly. Esme was at my side instantly kissing me on the forehead.

"Well then we'll just have to make up for that, won't we!" she said looking in my eyes. I looked directly back at her and she gasped slightly, I wiggle so that I could give her a hug. She looked sad and it seemed the right action to take. I was surprised when my eyes had met hers, but I realised quickly that this place had already become home, and they were apart of my family.


	4. Letting the light in

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter four

Letting the light in

Once again the light leaking into my room brought me back to reality, I had managed to sleep well once Jasper carried me to bed. It was odd to be touched so often and yet I revelled in it, before now it felt uncomfortable to be touch by people. I slowly stretched out under the soft covers, a girl could get used to this.

"Good morning Bella." Esme said opening my door quietly, she sat on the edge of my bed and looked down at me. "I think you really ought to eat today." She said a smile on her lips, I smiled back. I had missed every meal yesterday.

"That might be a plan." I said as my stomach rumbled making me grin and Esme giggle. It was a lovely sound. "Apparently my stomach approves!" I said getting up. I was dressed still having had no energy to change before bed; thankfully my cloths had been comfy enough. Esme helped me untangle myself from the sheets and we headed down stairs.

_Good morning Bella_ some of my family greeted as the lounged on the sofa's in the front room.

"Morning Mary, Alastor, John." I replied as I passed the room, Esme's head turned to look but she only saw an empty room. I smiled at her and continued to the kitchen.

"That is going to take a little getting used to." She commented lightly as she went to the fridge. I smiled it was nice to be so open to my family instead of having to be subtle.

"Yup. But at least you don't get double images." I said as I looked for something suitable to break the long unintentional fast. "It's hard not to react when someone sitting on them." I said making a face at the thought, she laughed at the image in her head. "What to eat? Oh what to eat?" I pondered allowed.

"I thought I could make you something?" Esme said making it a question my eyebrows went up.

"If you want to, but I was under the impression that human food didn't smell good to you!" I replied a little surprised by her offer. Most of the human foster parents I had told me to fend for myself after I turned eight.

"I would like to try." She replied, looking for something to make. "Though I have no idea what you would like." She commented staring into the fridge, I walked over to her and decided that we could make something together.

"I like to cook, so how about I teach you?" I asked and her eyes lit up and smiled. "Hmmm... what shall we make?... It needs to be fast or my stomach will eat me!" I said talking to no one really.

"How about eggs?" Esme suggested, quick and as complicated as I wanted. I nodded.

"Sounds perfect!" I said grabbing the eggs and I hunted for some mushrooms, peppers, salsa and sour cream. "Great you have everything!" I beamed at Esme and she smiled back clearly happy to have what I wanted. "Okay we need a chopping knife, a pan, a small sharp edged dish, and oil for the pan." I listed what we needed and it appeared in front of me. "Okay that is really cool. Oh! We also need a cutting board." And sure enough as soon as I said it appeared. I smiled at Esme who looked back ready to learn.

"Okay, have you ever cracked an egg before?" I asked getting organized, and Esme looked a little hesitantly at me. "As a human right?" I asked and she nodded at me. "Well then you know the motion of a sharp tap on a sharp edge will crack it and then you pull... well that's how I do it." I said as I cracked an egg and pulled it apart over the bowl.

"How do you do that?" Emmet asked from the other side of the counter staring at the bowl. "I mean with no shells, those things break so easy." He said a little embarrassed but no less impressed. I noticed that most of the Cullen's had come to watch us cook. Each one held a slightly awed expression at how I cracked an egg. I blushed at the attention and shrugged.

"It's all about pressure, the first time I..." my eyes went wide as Esme obliterated the egg she was trying to crack.

"Oh dear!" she mumbled, it was a little shocking to see Esme covered in egg looking very embarrassed. It didn't help that they all started laughing; I did my best to resist the urge and finished my statement.

"That happened only I was six and it went all over the floor and counter." I said looking at Esme, who seemed a little relieved that this seemed to be a normal first experience. "I don't think one of you could do any better on your first try." I said killing the laughter in the air. But they had no right to laugh if she didn't. Emmet and Jasper seemed to want to make a bet out of this.

"I think I'll leave the eggs to you dear." She said looking a little intimidated, I shook my head.

"Nope. Try again this time don't try to push, pull." I said handing her another egg. I raised my eyebrow at her. She took the egg though much more hesitantly. She gently tapped the egg to the lip of the bowl and it didn't crack at all. I held her hands as I repeated the action this time the egg crack. Her fingers readjusted to try and pull and the egg plopped into the dish perfectly. "See second try and not one egg shell went in. Marvellous!" I complimented her, the first time always made things look harder then they were. She smiled at me and pulled out another egg and repeated the steps perfectly.

"Well you certainly are a good teacher!" Esme said giving me a hug, I smiled back at her and shook my head.

"Nope, you're a bright pupil." I replied and gave her a soft bow. I grabbed the knife and the green pepper and began to cut it up for the scrambled eggs. Esme took the other one and halved it and then quartered it like I had. She finished much quicker then I did, and much more evenly cut. Oh well vampire's are faster with keener senses. The mushrooms were next; I grabbed a few and handed them to Esme. "I like them cut thinly but not see through, I'll prep the pan." Said turning to oil the pan and turn on the stove. It took no more then two seconds but as I knew she would be she had finished. They were perfect. "Marvellous, I always cut them too chunky and then have to cook them forever. Okay mushies first into the pan." I said grabbing a handful of them and tossing them in, Esme brought the rest and placed them in. The stove was gas and I began to drool.

"Dang, I think I'm in love with your stove!" I said happily, she beamed at me. "Then peppers..." she put it in, "and now whisk the eggs with a fork and then pour them into the pan." I finished, Esme looked at me blankly the fork in her hand. "Just mix the two parts together." I clarified realising she hadn't understood me. She poured them in the pan a second later. A minute or two later they were done. "Can you hand me a plate before..." a plate was in my hand before I could finish, "thanks." I said dumping the eggs on the plate and putting the very hot pan in the sink to cool before cleaning it. I grabbed the sour crème and salsa and sat at the counter. A fork and a spoon appear on the counter top. "Thanks I always forget utensils." I said before adding sour crème and salsa to the plate and digging in. "Perfect" I mumbled my mouth full.

Once I finished eating I realised that Esme had already cleaned up the kitchen. "I could have helped clean up." I said grabbing my plate and heading to the sink.

"Nonsense." She said taking them from me, I wanted to help but let her take them knowing I would never win.

"Aren't you guys' glad that you got me? And so don't have to eat human food?" I said completely stuffed with eggs. They all nodded at this and I giggled. "I am going to burst if I have to eat all of your portions, or try to find single serving sizes for cooking." I said sitting down again. Jasper and Emmet entered the kitchen and took out the eggs. I shook my head; no way was I staying to get covered in egg. Not when I had already eaten. "And that's my clue to run for the hills..." I said as most of my invisible family filed into the kitchen wanting to see the results. "You wont get covered in eggs, hence my corporeal butt leaving!" I replied to questioning looks. I heard the crack but missed the mess, perfect.

"Crap!" shouted Emmet in his obvious failure, shortly after I heard Emmet's booming laugh and knew that neither had succeeded. I was heading to my room to change with Lenora following behind suggesting outfits. It was a nice morning all egg-ploding included. I can only imagine the mess those two would leave behind, _**those poor defenceless eggs!**_ I commented silently and heard the musical laughter of Edward mixed in with the rest. As I changed into non-egg covered clothing I felt completely at peace. I had found my home; nothing was going to take that from me.

******

**I know fluff but after all the high emotions it seemed a nice break! Inspired by IsabellaDangelo's story Cakewalk truly a great piece!**


	5. A simple melody

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter five

A simple melody

As the water poured down my body I thought about the last two days. It felt like weeks instead of two days, well that was probably from all the emotional stuff. I still hadn't completely explained my mental family to them or my ability. But we had a connection now that made these questions easier to answer, they weren't going to take me back or insist I live out the rest of my life in an institution. It was nice to be apart of the family, though Rosalie and Emmet weren't there for my amazing breakdown they didn't seem to hate me. Okay Rosalie looked wary and well pissed about me knowing or maybe she didn't like me but Emmet seemed to think I was hilarious. Finally deciding I should get out of the shower, the egg gone a long time ago. I grabbed a towel just as I heard a knock at the door.

"Yes?" I called through the door, even knowing they could here a pin drop miles away I raised my voice.

"Can I pick out your outfit?" I heard Alice answer as she opened the door; obviously she knew I already had the towel wrapped around me.

"Umm... Sure? Lenora already had something in mind but I'm sure she'll agree with anything you pick out." I said knowing she wouldn't mind Alice's choice, like she did mine. Alice seemed confused by my comment. "Oh Len is one of my family, the fashion forward one. She went with us shopping." I said hoping to have clarified the misunderstanding. She still looked a bit confused. "I don't shop without Len close by; it makes it... fun I guess instead of a painful chore." I explained and Alice looked at me horrified.

"You don't like to shop?" She questioned me as though I said that I enjoyed running over small furry animals. I laughed at how similar her reaction was to Len's. I shook my head and walked quickly back to my room Alice following me.

"You are quite like her; she thinks I'm crazy too. But shopping just isn't fun to me. She likes it so we join and its more fun." I said smiling. "I get all her weird positive emotions about shopping and then its fun." I explained. Alice still looked like she thought I was nuts so I sat on my bed and waited for her to do something.

"So she made you excited about shopping by joining with you?" she asked and I nodded in response. "So you feel her emotions when she joins with you?" she asked again and again I nodded. "I don't know how you could possibly not like shopping." She said heading to my closet like that was the weirdest thing in the world. Not joining with another person but not liking shopping! I giggled while I waited for her to pick out an outfit.

She picked out a long sleeved deep blue shirt and a black knee length linen skirt and put them on the bed before contemplating something. I arched an eyebrow and waited for her revelation. She smiled and headed back to the closet and pulled out a no sleeve white linen cover. I had to admit it looked like a nice outfit that wouldn't drive me nuts. She put it on the bed and left the room for me to change.

_She has a gift! The skirt is the perfect length and makes you look leggy, with the shirt and the cover it just works so perfectly! I love that colour on you Bella it looks simply amazing! _Len commented and I agreed with her, I looked almost beautiful. Though in this family I was definitely the ugly duckling hands down, even the boys were prettier then me. My thoughts drifted to Edward as Alice re-entered the room.

"Perfect you look lovely!" She said pulling me towards the bathroom. I knew that I would not enjoy this as Len followed us in.

_**Save me! Please someone! **_ I called to my family praying that they could talk at least one of the women down. Alice sat me down in her bathroom and all I could see were beauty products. My eyes went wide and I tried to beg but Alice stopped me before I even opened my mouth.

"Please Bella! I never get to do this!" She begged and as soon as she began to pout I knew I had lost. Dang I was at Alice's mercy. I stopped planning my escaped and she smiled victoriously. "Thank you Bella!" She said before getting to work on brushing out my hair.

"Alice." I heard from the doorway, looking out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward looking at Alice and her pouting back. "I think Bella would like to be freed." He said amusement clear in his voice.

"She agreed Edward you know that!" She huffed at her brother never stopping from her work on my hair, I couldn't bear to look and see what she was doing. "Sides I'm almost done." She stated before sticking her tongue out at him.

_**Thanks for trying.**_ I thought at him. He smiled at me as he leaned into the door frame. _**She has an evil puppy pout.**_ I finished, he smiled at that. He knew it obviously. Alice turned my head in order to apply a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss.

"Done! And I must say you look amazing Bella!" Alice exclaimed while moving to reveal the mirror behind her. The make-up was light and only highlighted my face instead of coating it. My hair fell in gentle waves around my waist. I was shocked that I could look this beautiful.

"She looks lovely Alice." Edward said as his sister passed him leaving the bathroom having finished her fun. I stood slowly and turned my head to look at Edward. "You really do look great Bella." He said as we left the bathroom heading out into Alice's and then the hallway. I nodded as I walked still trying to wrap my head around the image in the mirror. "So what are your plans for the rest of the day?" he asked as I calmed down and sorted out my thoughts.

"Oh! Um... I really hadn't thought about it. Though it will probably include music of some sort, or I'll end up humming." I said truthfully it was still weird to talk this much. He looked at me when I said this. "I love music, Alastor has helped me learn to play so many different instruments and I have always loved listening to music too, it's so powerful." I babbled on as I looked at him, he was too unreal to not actually look at.

"What type of music do you like?" He asked as we walked towards the front room of the house.

"Well pretty much everything, Rock, Pop, Opera, Country, Jazz, Blues, Classical of course..." I thought about it as I spoke, "I guess I like most everything but crappy rap and overly repetitive stuff." He seemed to agree with me. I walked over to the piano; having remembered it and sat down Edward followed me into the room.

I began to play Alastor's favourite song; he had helped me compose it no more than a year after we met. It began thunderous and softened to a complex melody before randomly ending half way through a series of notes. I ended it at a different point every time. Once I had only played a quarter of it before finishing.

_It is nice to hear you play. _Alastor spoke gently from the left of me and I looked up at him and smiled. _It has been far too long since you last played for the mere joy of it._ He said with a wistful smile on his lips.

"It has been playing through my head a lot lately." I said smiling at him, "It has been far too long since I had an instrument in my home." I finished letting my fingers play on the piano not really thinking as they produced a nameless melody. I thought about this house and the people in it as I played, Esme and Carlisle, Alice and Jasper, even Rosalie and Emmet. Finally I got to Edward he was like me different then his family, apart and yet not. He was alone. I could only ever touch my family when I slept and even then it was only with my mind, I was apart from them. I was alone too. I realised my thoughts and abruptly stopped playing. The melody was much too revealing even though I trusted and loved them deeply. I blushed deeply looking at Edward his eyes met mine and my blush deepened.

"That was beautiful." Esme said and I looked up to see her standing in the doorway wrapped in Carlisle's arms. Alice and Jasper were curled together in the small love seat both nodded in agreement. Jasper sent me a wave of calm laughing as he did so. I nodded my appreciation. Even Emmet and Rosalie were listening from other room, and most of my invisible family were scattered about the room.

"You are very talented Bella." Edward said from just behind me.

"Alastor is a very good teacher." I muttered as I stood from the bench, "Do you play?" I asked Edward trying to find a way to get the attention off of me. He nodded though made no move towards the piano. "Play for me?" I asked softly both wanting the attention off me and to hear him play. I began to wonder what he sounded like, each artist so different from the rest. He sat at the bench and I moved to stand behind him. Everyone looked pleased to see him play. I stepped back and pushed myself to the wall and sat waiting his sound. It was a very complex melody a mush faster time then mine but it felt almost like being wrapped up in the warmth of a summer evening, lush. I smiled and tried to place in within Edward, it was a game I played with Alastor.

"You wrote it for Esme." I said the answer so obvious I came out of my mouth before I could think but the music didn't stop. Edward nodded and Esme looked very pleased that I could tell merely from the song. Slowly the melody changed and soon it became a lullaby, sweet but sad. I tried to place who would make Edward feel this way but I was stumped and stopped trying and just listened to it. It was a touch darker then most lullabies but the sweetness to it confused me, it seemed wistful. After a few staggering notes he stopped playing, I looked up at him and saw that he had turned to face me.

"A new composition." He said to me, could that mean he had wrote it for my arrival? My expression showed my confusion and he chuckled slightly. "I wrote it for you Bella." He said and I stared up at him in awe. "May I ask about yours?" he asked uncertain I nodded.

"The first was a piece that Alastor helped me compose when I was five. It's our song I suppose. The other one wasn't really a composition more of my thoughts." I said slight uneasy, "about all of you." I finished looking only at Edward. He smiled at me and as I looked at them all they each looked happy, even Rosalie though she left quickly after.

"Thank you." Edward said for everyone as they began to disperse. I nodded, the lump in my throat now for a completely different reason. They knew how I felt and they didn't mind that in two days I fell in love with their family. He didn't move as I sat there delighted that they didn't mind how attached I had become to them.


	6. Safely below

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter six

Safely Below

Without thinking I moved forward and crawled under the side of the piano, like I had in the only house to have a piano when I was still quite young. Edward watched me amused by my randomness no doubt. I lay there my head resting on my arms completely content. Edward played a soft melody before giving in with a sigh, obviously going to ask me why I was under the piano.

"It feels safe." I said before he could ask, "I lived in a house where there was a lot of yelling and anger. The piano never made the sounds they did, it only play wonderful music that made me feel better. So anytime they started I would go under the piano and hide." I told him thinking of the days of screaming and mean words that hurt as they repeated in my head. It was then that I decided that I would be silent instead of angry and screaming at people.

"That sounds horrible." Edward replied as he crawled into place beside me. I turned my head to look at him and nodded.

"I decided to never be like that. To hurt people when they hurt me or forgot something important to me. I never want to hear that tone come out of my mouth or those words." I said my eyes never leaving his face.

"How many homes have you been in where people responded that way?" he asked me, I guess Anna didn't give them all the info on me.

"A lot. More then half were like that. The others I was left alone." I said thinking of most of the places I had lived. "Some were true homes, like here. But most were fake, all about pretence. 'Oh look at my perfect family! Isn't what I have so much better then what you have! Don't you envy me!?' And yet they would take a child or two and ignore them. In many of them I took care of those younger then me, made sure they ate, were dressed for the weather, healthy and happy." I said a sad smile on my face. It had been hard to take care of children when I was only a child myself. There were times when I had too much to deal with to care for myself. Alastor was the one to help and care, without him and the others I don't know how I would have survived.

"Anna said that you moved around a lot. Her thoughts were sad, how many homes?" he asked I could hear the sadness that must have been in her thoughts echo in his voice.

"You number 47." I said a sharp gasp and knew that Esme had heard me; I hoped Carlisle was giving her a hug. "I forced her to move me around. The longest I stayed in one place was four and a half years in the home Alastor saved me from." I said my mind replaying the anger in that house on the inside of my eyes.

"I'm glad he was there for you." Edward said his voice as melancholy as my own.

"Yeah it was nice to throw that bully across the room." I said a smile on my face playing the memory of the look on his face I giggled.

"You threw him across the room?" Edward asked confused and happy, it was an odd mix.

"When Alastor joins with me I get some of his strength and speed and... hardness." I said, "No red eyes though thankfully." I said cringing at the red eyes looking out of my face in the mirror. I knew what those eyes meant. Alastor had eaten humans, lots in his years as a corporeal vampire.

"Alastor has red eyes?" He asked gently as I looked at him.

"Yup, he was a very bad vampire!" I called and heard him chuckle. He had apologised over and over to me though he couldn't really ever bite me. I smiled at that. "He knew no other way, finding your family has made him a little bitter that he didn't discover this option." I finished and knew Alastor agreed with my statement. Edward nodded absentmindedly trying to sort out the new information I had given him. "The 14 years as a ghost craving something and yet being able to touch nothing and then finding me has made him more human friendly." I said thinking about how horrible it must be to not be able to touch anything would be hellish.

"He found you?" Edward asked, "You said the same thing earlier but I don't think I understood correctly. They find you as in scoured the earth looking for you?" he looked really cute when he was confused.

"When they... die... they take some time to kinda get control of themselves. Once they appear they can see their own bodies, well the bodies I see, and they feel my call. I guess. They describe it as craving something indefinable and once they find me the craving vanishes, though if they go too far for too long they feel it again. I mean I see other people but they fade after a little while, the others seem to stay longer. Jillian left." I said thinking of the little girl who used to be my shadow. "She was 6 and I was 7 when she found me. But she faded when I was 8 and never came back." I said hoping she had gone somewhere better, maybe found her parents or someone else who loved her.

"I am sure she's safe." He said pulling me to his side. I nodded mutely praying that he was right. "How many people are in your invisible family?" he asked after a minute of silence.

"There are six. Three boys and three girls, excluding Jillian. Josephine Tally who I believe you know." I said enjoying talking about my family. He looked sad before he arranged his features.

"Actually I don't recall much other than her face." He said as if trying to force the memories to come back to him.

"She loved you. Well her family was close to yours and she had a crush on her but you wanted the glories of war and didn't return her feelings." I said remembering she comments from the other night. "She died from the Spanish Flu two years after you. She took a very long time to reappear and ever longer to find me. But she needed the extra time to find herself in this new life." I said remembering her fears that she was in hell or damned. 'Cast away from God's light' she had said. "For a long time she feared that she was damned, as she now fears for you." I said looking at him with an arched eyebrow, "You wouldn't happen to have the same idea stuck in that brain of yours would you?" I asked his face was shocked by my question then sad as he organized his brain. "You know I have a vampire in my collection of SOULS right?" I asked making it completely obvious what the correct conclusion was. He smiled at me.

"I was under the impression." He said laughing, "But you do seem to be more acquainted with the proof that contradicts my opinion." He finished and I smiled at him happily. I knew Joe had heard this and would take from it hopefully what Edward had.

"I shook my head, silly vampire." I said laughing both at him and with him. He smiled back and I felt like I melted in his gaze, he truly was an angel. I was completely dazed and didn't notice that he had asked me something until his second try. "Oops, sorry what?" I asked blushing at my line of thoughts.

"You were telling me about your family before we got sidetracked?" he asked wanting me to continue.

"Sure, my favourite topic actually, their all so fascinating I love having conversations with them!" I replied happily. "Okay so, what order? Hmmm... I think I'll start with Lenora Marks. She's the one that I was joined with for Alice's shopping spree?" I asked making sure he had heard our conversation, he nodded and I continued, "She's 27, had finished a BFA in fashion design and on her final semester of Fashion Merchandizing Management BS at FIT. She's very proud of that! She's been in charge of me since she arrived when I was nine, thanks to Alastor I had a bit of money to lend to the task." I said a smile on my face, "Len is African American with beautiful dark skin and near black eyes, a couple of inches taller then me. I guess she's nearly the physical opposite of Alice but she bounces like Alice and shops like Alice." I said knowing he had a good picture of Len in his mind. "She's the one under Joe in my picture." I said feeling lazy because he could recall the picture perfectly.

"Jillian in the center at the top, she looks like an angel." I said thinking of how I lit her and imagined her having beautiful white wings. Edward nodded he smiled as he thought of her. "Below Jillian is Alastor. Our oldest. He's 649 this year." I said as Edward nodded remembering my words from before. "He had to wait the longest, he was craving something that didn't exist yet, mean right?" I asked him as he smiled and nodded. "Fourteen years as you know he's physically about 26 loves to learn about new cultures, is my source for all vampire knowledge." I said with a grin before continuing, "Loves music and has a thing about history, he talks about the glory days and such." I said and Edward made a face, "No! The renaissance, the days when things were being created or uncovered everyday, he wishes he had been able to be around humans during these times but is happy he was at least present for it." I said sharply hitting Edward for his stupid thought and only managed to hurt my hand.

He chuckled and then made sure I hadn't actually hurt myself. "I'm fine." I stated pulling my hand out of his loose grip. "Next to Alastor on the left is Mary Elizabeth Warner age 38, she taught at a school in north Virginia for nearly 20 years and had four children that survive her still though their getting a bit up there in years, the youngest is 46 in May. She's also a really great poet; she was published twice in a magazine under her own name." I said proud of Mary she really had a great way with words and could paint an image in extreme detail in her poems. Edward nodded knowing first hand how big it was for a woman to be published in a rural area in that time. "Below her is Daniel Matthew Jamison, the resident geneticist." I said as Edward's eyebrows shot up. "What? I have no idea how you have survived this long without a geneticist in your head!" I said laughing his voice joined mine and I realised that they fitted together like Carlisle and Esme's two voices holding one note. My heart beat erratically at that thought and I tried to get myself back on track.

"You know I must agree with you, useful and necessary for all of life's daily activities." He said, for a moment I thought he was talking about how our laughter fitted together. I shook my head and smiled as I realised he was commenting on my last spoken comment. I was really glad he couldn't read my mind, I'm sure he would have been uncomfortable with my obvious crush on him.

"Daniel is physically the eldest at 43 but he only joined us three years ago making him the newest to the family. The last person in the right hand bottom of the page is Samuel Tomas the Artist! He is a painter, but with his help I drew the picture, and a philosopher." I finished with a smile. "That's my family." I looked at him, realising we had just spent who knows how long lying under his piano talking. I blushed as I pulled myself out from under the piano with him following suit.

"So the ages you gave me are the ages... they died at?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yup" I said popping the p.

"So Alastor was 649 before he passed?" Edward asked, I shook my head realising I had mixed facts.

"No Alastor is 649 years in total." I said clarifying my mistake.

"So what about the others?" he asked clearly interested.

"Um... Daniel is 46,... Joe is 108, Len is 38,... Mary is 79,... Samuel is 168." I said doing the math in my head Edward's eyes went wide at the last one. "Yeah Sam's old!" I said in mock horror giggling shortly after. Edward rolled his eyes but had a grin on his face at my antics. "Oh did you know that Alastor is a Greek name meaning 'Avenging spirit?'" I asked, leaving out the whole afflicting vengeance on children for the sins of the father part of the myths. He shook his head and stood, I raised my eyebrows in question.

"I think I ought to feed you." He answered like I was a potted plant or a small child.

"But I don't Wanna!" I cried like a two year old before cracking up. He smile down at me and eventually I got up and followed him to the kitchen. "Well that's what you get when you treat me like a potted plant." I said grinning as we entered the kitchen.

Esme looked confused by my comment but her eyes were on Edward which made me laugh as I sat down at the counter. She seemed to be pleased about something in his face, but I didn't see anything new there. I rested my chin on my arms; I had no idea what I wanted to eat and so sat to contemplate what to eat.

"I didn't know potted plants could whine." Edward commented drily and I was grinning again.


	7. Daily activities

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter seven

Daily activities

I ate my sandwich slowly as I thought about my day. I had enjoyed my free time and I had a few days before I had to decide what I was going to do with my time. Having already graduated from high school I had no obligation to go, but the thought of spending my days with Edward was appealing to me. If I worked then I would have less time to spend with him and the family, the thought sadden me. Usually I picked a job that at least one other person had interest in usually more; though Daniel was hard to work into anything other than genetics really.

"Something the matter Bella?" Carlisle asked me, it was just he and I tonight.

"Just wondering what I'm going to do with my time." I said deciding to ask his advice, "What do you suggest?" I wondered what he might suggest. He contemplated for a moment and then smiled.

"I really don't know what you would like to do." He stated chuckling, "Anna said that you had no obligation to attend high school, that you had actually taught a third year university course on genetics a few years ago." He said impressed by this fact.

"I wanted to spend more time with Daniel he had only just joined us. I wanted to make sure he felt welcome with us." I said shrugging.

"Well then I guess a good question to consider is what do you want to do? Not what is best for the entire family?" he said and I blushed, they said pretty much the same things. I always consider them before myself.

"Yeah, only right now I have no clue. I am not sure about high school, but I would like to get to know my siblings better if I did that. Sides I doubt a hospital would higher a sixteen year old girl no matter how knowledgeable she is." I commented glumly, it would be fun to get some of the hands on experience for some of the medical knowledge I had. Carlisle looked at me interested by my remarks.

"You have medical knowledge?" he asked and I nodded, "Well." He said at a loss for words for a moment.

"I have a geneticist who was interested in medicine and got his MD." I said much to his surprise. "Daniel just couldn't deal with the idea that peoples lives rested in his hands." I retold Daniel's words. Carlisle nodded at this in agreement of the heavy burden of the loss of life.

"It is improbable that they would employ you." He said a smile on his lips. I nodded grinning.

"'Hello my name is Bella. I'll be your doctor today.' Nurse we've got another fainter." I said giggling. Carlisle shook his head as he laughed. "I think hospitals probably shouldn't higher me just for public health reasons. It's a shame though." I said enjoying the idea of freaking people out and yet being good at the job. I had made Daniel teach me a lot of what he learned getting his degree and more.

"Yes, perhaps not." Carlisle said, "You would be interested in attending high school though?" he seemed to like the idea of it.

"Yeah in theory, I mean I have never actually set foot in a high school. I bypassed all that thanks to Alastor and everybody; no one seemed to think much about me missing it." I said remembering some of the stories that Daniel and Lenora had told me about their experiences they didn't sound pleasant.

"High school is a fairly important thing to experience; it helps you deal with people your own age." He said obviously wanting me to try it out.

"True, I just imagine some of my former students and the things they pulled in class and am not sure if it's for me." I said thinking of the day Megan Seymour had run out of the room crying because some of the other girls were picking on her. I imagined high school as that times ten. "I'm not sure I would fit in as a student in high school, and I have absolutely no desire to teach at one." I said looking at my half finished sandwich and was no longer hungry.

"You wouldn't be alone." Carlisle reminded me and I had to admit I doubted anyone would bother me if I was with the Cullen teenagers. I nodded.

"That just might work." I said smiling at him. I stood up and cleaned my plate and put them away. "Good night Carlisle." I said turning to smile at him.

"Good night Bella sleep well." He said returning my smile. I padded up to my bed room, contemplating joining them next semester. It was only two weeks until the first day of school summer had passed quickly this year. I quickly changed into the tank and shorts pyjama set Alice and I had bought, I loved the sheep on them. I curled up on my bed and yawned before passing out.

****10 days later****

"Wake up Bella!" Alice called as she pounced on my bed. Drat.

"Alice I was in the middle of fencing with Samuel. I was going to win!" I cried as she began to jump on the bed, far too excited for this early in the morning.

"But it's the first day of school and I have to get you ready!" She replied laughing at me, I never won against Samuel he had way more practice then I did, not to mention skill. She pulled the covers back and I shot up in surprise.

"Mean Alice that was just mean." I said moving slowly towards the bathroom to take a shower. She almost started pushing me into her bathroom I was walking so slowly, but she had tried that before and realised it just 'made' me take a longer shower. I almost wished she would push me, a long soapy shower sounded wonderful.

"You have to look perfect for your first day of high school!" Alice stated, forcing me awake as she said it. This was just my first day of high school this was the first time in eight years I had been a pupil in a class room. It was an advantage to having several different family members who were willing to teach me anything I wanted to know. In some cases even learning with me in order to do so. I froze as I thought about this, was it too late to change my mind? "Yes" Alice stated coldly immediately aware of my change of heart.

"Fine I'm going! See Alice?" I said as I walked into the bathroom, she threw today's underwear at me and shut the door. I step into the shower hoping the hot water would calm my nerves. After a minute or two I faced the fact that some tension hot water couldn't solve. I used the strawberry shampoo that Alice had gotten me enjoying the sweet scent. All too soon it was time to get out and face Alice once more.

As soon as I had my underwear on Alice came bouncing through the door a huge smile on her face. I sat still and let her work her magic. It was only half an hour later that she had finished with my hair, a really short time for Alice. She had pulled the front part of my hair back French braiding it, the rest was down but she had managed to get it to curl just slightly. Next was make-up and Alice paused for a moment before picking up eyeliner and turning towards me.

_Bella ask Alice if your locket would clash with the outfit she has picked out for you. _ I turned to look at Lenora as she spoke.

"Alice Len wants to know if the old brass locket I have would go with the..." I repeated as Alice vanished and returned holding the locket gently. She fastened it around my neck. Lenora smiled as Alice stood back. "I take that as a yes." I said laughing at Alice. I played lightly with the locket. "You know they picked it out in groups, well Len and Mary, and Sam and Alastor. They had no idea that they had all in fact chosen the same thing to get me for my tenth birthday. It was a riot when both groups wanted to go to the same store and then pointed to the same item. It was meant to be." I told Alice, it was the best birthday I had had in a long time.

_Have you forgotten that you will be 17 soon? _Len asked her voice light and happy. My eyes went wide it was September 5th today! Time had really gotten away from me.

"Wow! I'll be 17 in eight days." I whispered in awe. I had never really felt time pass and all the while I had grown up, I'm nearly as old as Joe. Alice had stopped moving at my comment and then quickly finished the last touches.

"Well why didn't you say anything earlier?!" Alice shrieked as she hugged me. "I am going to get you the best gift ever." She said letting go of me and bounced out of the bathroom in excitement. I followed the happy pixy into her room. I quickly dressed in the jeans and black three quarter length shirt, it was lower cut then I like but I was used to it after years with Len. I was thankful Alice went with neat black boots that only had a two inch heel; I wasn't as clumsy as I had been as a little kid but three inch heels just made me uneasy. The boots went over the skinny jeans and looked pretty cool. All in all I think I looked pretty hot, but I played with my locket nervously.

"We won't let the mean high school kids pick on you Bella." Alice said sarcastically as she towed me out of the room and down to the kitchen. I was thankful that Alastor had helped me get over tripping on nothing. It was nice not to meet the ground like I had then. Esme already had some cereal in a bowl for me and poured the milk as I sat down.

"Thanks." I said before picking up the spoon and digging in.

"Ready for your first day Bella?" Carlisle asked as he entered the kitchen to kiss Esme goodbye before heading off to the hospital.

"Sure." I said between bites, he smile and was off. Edward was sitting across from me watching me eat; the Cullen's did that sometimes. Emmet had said that it looked like pencil shavings. But this was different Edward always seemed to watch me; I loved the attention but was uncertain of the reason behind it.

In the passed week and a half everyone settled into some semblance of a routine. I would be bounced awake by Alice usually, get made up by her and sometimes Rose, play video games with Emmet and Jasper, generally losing every game but it was fun, Edward would collect me for lunch then he and I would hang out talk about either one of our families, sometimes others would join in the conversation. Like when the subject of their pasts came up each person in the family told me the story themselves, it was really neat to hear it from them and not from Edward. They weren't happy stories in the beginning but they ended up together as a family, who says happy endings don't exist?

It was a few days ago that I realised I had more then just a crush on Edward I loved him. As way more then a foster brother, I was head over heals in love with him I just wasn't sure if he felt the same way. He would watch me, but they all did that, he didn't touch me unless he thinks I'm upset and he's never done anything to suggest it. I wanted to tell him but the thought that I would destroy our closeness stopped me. I noticed that Jasper seemed to know what I felt for Edward but Edward never commented on his thoughts, so I wasn't sure if he was keeping my secret. I walked with Edward and Alice and Jasper to Edward's car my thoughts everywhere, and I felt sick but I said nothing. Jasper sent me a wave of calm and I blushed which always got him laughing.

"Thanks Jasper, I think I'm more nervous than is normal." I said sliding into the front seat. Looking over at Edward I felt my heart skip a beat, I wasn't one for subtly. Jasper and Edward laughed as my blush turned purple. I wanted to die, for a moment then I just looked out the window and tried to Zen out. It was less then five minutes at vampire driving speeds so I was walking up to the school far sooner then I wanted. Thankfully not many people were here yet they walked me to the main office to get my schedule, I would have a class with at least one Cullen for the whole day and lunch with all of them. It had been the one thing I asked Carlisle to arrange for me.

****

Everyone stared at me as I walked towards my first class with Alice. She had told me that this would be the case it was just unnerving, like when I had taught only way worse. We entered English two minutes early and Alice went to her seat as I handed my slip to the teacher to sign.

"Welcome to Forks, Bella!" He said warmly, I smiled back in return and made my way to sit with Alice. When I turned back he was bothered by my ease next to her and his expression nearly had me giggling. But I knew better then to laugh at a teacher that can see you.

"See not hard at all." She whispered in my ear. I turned and smiled at her, I wasn't afraid of teachers I had been one, I was afraid of students. More accurately teenagers, I had never really understood teenagers they were like aliens to me. The bell rang and the last of the students took their places some how managing to stare at me even though I was at the back of the room. It was uncomfortable until Mr. Mason started the lesson and went over what we would be doing in English. I rolled my eyes. A note appeared at my elbow, **nothing like being taught what you already know! ** Alice had written I nodded slightly, too true. As he lectured about 'how to properly read,' Alice and I passed notes chatting about how Mr Mason could make the subject matter more appealing.

I parted with Alice and headed Spanish with Rose. I had only learned a little Spanish but they put me into a senior class at Carlisle's reassurance that I would learn it easily and it would be a better pace for me to learn at. I entered the class to find a bunch of girls obviously gossiping about me. Lovely, I wonder if I'm a slut or a prude considering my clothing, I think slut. I handed Senora Hernandez my slip and took an open seat and waited for Rose to arrive.

"I wonder who she thinks she is." Said a snarky voice behind me loud enough that I could easily hear her, they wanted me to hear them, peachy.

"Doesn't she know her place?" Said another, this one sounded out for a fight. I remembered my former student and didn't push it by tell them to shut their mouths. I could tell that my lack of a response was beginning to piss them off, joy.

"Bella." Rose said looking down at me, as my head shot up surprised by her sudden appearance. "I sit up by the front by the windows, come on." I stood and moved to where Rose directed. "Don't worry about those Ho's" she said loud enough for them to hear, "Their just jealous that you have taste." She finished and I could practically hear them grinding their teeth. None of them pushed Rose because of basic survival instincts.

"Thanks Rose." I said relaxing into my seat. She nodded and smiled at me. It was still a little awkward between her and I but we were becoming quite close. "Hey I was hoping you would consider teaching me about cars. I really won't be learning much here so I figure I might as well learn something useful." I told her, I hadn't seen her this morning when I was originally going to ask. She smiled at this clearly happy to learn of my interest.

"I'd love too." She replied with a much larger smile which I returned gladly. I wanted to learn and she was the mechanic in the family so the best one to ask. That she happened to be the one that I wanted to get closer to just worked in my favour. The class passed quickly and I was grateful for Carlisle's suggestion even at a higher level the language was easy for me to pick up.

"Seriously do they dumb it down our what?" I said as we left class with Rose trying to make sense of high school. "I mean a monkey could learn at this pace." Rose chuckled and the three girls from earlier pushed past me though carefully away from Rose.

"They barely passed last year." Rose explained at me confused look.

"Oh." I said, "Well if that doesn't explain it all." We both laughed at that before parting ways.

I was completely happy as I entered my class with Emmet, he waved at me as I walked in and I giggled waving back. The entire class just stared at me; trying to avoid a repeat of last class I quickly handed my slip to the teacher Mr. Whick and took the seat in front of Emmet.

"Welcome to hell little sister!" Emmet said just before class began, I turned to look at him curious.

"Miss Lewis! Your attention on the board now!" he shouted at me causing me to jump and the kids around me to snicker. My eyes were wide with surprise as I straightened. "I do not tolerate lollygagging Miss Lewis so please try to keep up with the rest of the class." He finished coldly I knew I wasn't going to like this class or Mr. Whick. As the class went on I began to hate math with a passion, well what it was that he was failingly try to pass off as math. Mr. Whick was completely unable to teach math, I could tell he knew the steps he was leaving off the board but only because I knew the principle he was scrambling to show. By the time the bell rang I wanted to kill him. Emmet took one look at my face and began to laugh once we were in the hallway.

"Not a fan of Mr. Whick Bella?" he asked still laughing. I wanted to hit something.

"How can that man consider himself a teacher? I mean in all practical sense all he is teaching is gibberish! He barely knows basic mathematical theory! How can you stand it?!" I exclaimed finishing my rant for the moment.

"Most high school math teachers teach exactly the same way Bella." He said as if it was obvious.

"But he missed nearly every other basic step! I mean obviously one plus one equals two but if you just randomly put a two on the board without explaining how it came to exist it makes no sense! Just like saying that 'x' will equal 'y' doesn't tell you why they are equal or why it matters!" I explained to Emmet as he chuckled and pushed me into my next class. I marched up to the teacher holding out my slip for her to sign. I looked over and found Jasper in the second row against the windows and joined him. I prayed that history would be better then math, or at least not worse. Mrs. Reddington sat at her desk staring at the ancient computer that rested there.

"Not a fan of math Bella?" Jasper questioned obviously having heard my rant.

"I blame the education he had to have received in order for him to teach that badly." I said softly, "Please tell me this isn't going to be as painful?" I begged. Jasper chuckled.

"If Whick is poorly educated, Reddington was never educated." He replied destroying my hope. "But she doesn't pay much attention so you can read through the text and teach yourself, if you don't already know it all." He finished obviously having read this text many times. I flipped through the text book she had handed me; it was basic and never went into any detail. I wanted to cry, this was basic knowledge.

"Well this should be fun, will she scream at me if I take a nap?" I said giving into the fact that high school couldn't suck more. He shook his head.

"You are not getting out of this class if I have to be conscious so do you." He said with a small smile on his lips.

"Gee thanks for that Jasper." I replied carefully keeping my eyes focused on him I could feel their eyes and didn't want to deal with them. "I think I might actually be looking forward to gym." I said softly as Reddington settled the class ten minutes after the bell had rung. Deciding all my classes were write offs I decided to play a game with the sibling that I shared the class with. During the entire class I thought of different moments or things that would change my emotions. Just before the bell rang I managed to find something absolutely hilarious, I nearly had myself laughing at it, Jasper twitched and nearly laughed. I wasn't co-ordinated as a kid, but I was signed up for a dance class and in the middle of the recital I tripped and brought everyone down with me. It was priceless. The bell rung and Jasper eyed me clearly amused by my emotional games

"Tomorrow's your turn but nothing too extreme, like getting my kicked out of class." I said as we walked to lunch.

"I take it changing your emotions amused you?" He questioned as we walked.

"It was much better than math, so what do you say? Emotional manipulation tomorrow? Your turn to try to get a reaction?" I asked getting down on my knees and clinging to his legs. "PLEASE OH PLEASE!" I said a huge smile on my lips. He looked embarrassed and highly amused.

"Oh definitely! Now get up!" He said pulling me to me feet and towing me to the lunch line. Alice waved us down to her and we walked passed everyone to help her as she had grabbed two full trays of food. Jasper grabbed the trays and Alice took my hand.

"I am definitely in for your game tomorrow in English!" she said obviously having seen it. I smiled and twirled her around in my excitement. She giggled and returned the favour and soon we were both far too hyper for our own good.

"Sweet so what's better a guess my future? Or craziest thing I would actually do?" I asked knowing the entire cafeteria was staring at us. I blushed a little but let it go who cared what high school kids thought about me.

"I like both we can alternate them. But tomorrow is definitely crazy things Bella might do!" Alice answered obviously having fun with my idea.

"Something tells me to ignore any visions Alice has tomorrow morning." Edward said with a small shake of his head. I sat down next to him.

"I think we should play a game in our class but I don't really know what." I said he was the one class where I couldn't think of a game. Rose was Spanish insults to confuse the bimbos or name that car part in Spanish. Emmet was going to be fun. "Rose what should we play Spanish insults to confuse the dimbos? Or name that car part and function in Spanish?" I asked completely changing the topic.

"Dimbos?" Emmet asked laughing at my term.

"Yes the three girls that were insulting me in Spanish before Rose arrived." I said, "They apparently ain't smart and well obviously..." I finished rolling my eyes, Emmet burst into laughter and I could feel the attention of the cafeteria refocus on us.

"I say Spanish insults for the first few days while you pick up the language then car part and function." She answered smiling.

"Sounds good, now I don't have to study with Alastor all night." I said relieved.

"So what game are we going to play Bella?" Edward asked feeling left out. I shrugged.

"I couldn't come up with one." I replied, my stomach rumbled and I finally dug in eating some of the fries and the salad and washed it down with Alice's coke.

"Hey!" she said stealing it back, I pouted and tried to grab it back from her. Finally she caved and gave it to me. I found the whole thing really amusing and so did the rest of the cafeteria. Oh well, let them think I'm a twit no bother to me.

"Why are you hogging a drink you don't want Alice, its mean." I said ignoring Edwards pout. Finally I turned to him, "I honestly don't know, maybe you could think of one." I suggested.

"What about me?" Emmet asked and I smiled and evil grin.

"I am going to get back at that destroyer of math. We are going to play many, many different games. Tomorrow I say passing notes, as many as possible to everyone in the class if we can. It should drive him nuts if we're subtle enough." I said plodding revenge for the math he butchered.

"Okay, but I get to say what the next thing is." Emmet agreed I nodded not caring as long as it distracted Whick and couldn't get us suspended or anything. It's not like I could fail math when I was like my first language.

"Awe you have a game for everyone but me." Edward said pretending to be hurt by this. I flicked him and laughed when he faked being hurt.

"I was hoping that Biology would be okay, I mean I love the subject and really it's hard to mess up Bio." I said shrugging. Edward got up and I followed him dumping one of the trays and walking to Bio.

"It wont be interesting Bella, you know that." Edward said preparing me for high school biology. I nodded with a frown.

"Oh well, if he teaches it decently I will be pleased at least." I said sitting down in the seat Edward pulled out for me after I had my slip signed. Mr. Banner began the lesson promptly but Edward was right I knew more then the teacher did there was no way I was going to enjoy this class. I smirked and silently thanked Alice for keeping my game for Edward to herself.

_**Edward? I was wondering... **_I thought cutting off my thought before I said anything. It was a mean game but fun no less. A note appeared be side me. **What are you wondering Bella?** He wrote, I smiled and flicked my eyes back to the front of the room. _**Well I was wondering what you thought...**_ I felt him twitch when I cut off the thought.

_**Alice said something I thought was interesting yesterday...**_ I stopped there letting him ponder what Alice had said. I managed to push down my amusement and not show my emotions. It helped that I kept my eyes on Mr. Banner as he went over the basic structure of a cell. _**I was trying to figure out what she meant maybe you can tell me?**_ I asked, he quickly wrote a note **of course what is it you would like me to explain?** I realised I could say anything and he would answer, the desire to ask him he felt the same I felt for him. _**Well she mentioned that Jasper was sensing...**_ I trailed off hoping he would fill in the blank.

He looked completely flustered, I wonder what he thought I meant. **What was he sensing? I'm not sure I understand Bella. ** I tried to think of a way to get him to tell me how he felt. _**Well that your feelings had changed... about me? **_ I thought narrowing my focus to just the front of the room so I couldn't see Edward's reaction. I felt the note touch me arm. **I am not sure what to say. Alice has said nothing to me about it. I know that you know I love and care for you deeply. **

I needed to just tell him, I read the note again and again until I only read the last seven words. 'I love and care for you deeply' was something you said to a friend. _**Never mind Edward I'm sure I miss understood what she meant. **_It was a little more defeated then I had intended but you can't hide your emotions in your thoughts. **Bella have I upset you? **He wrote and I merely shook my head. I had to get over this; Edward is my foster brother nothing more. Why would he care for me? I mean I'm nothing special.

"Bella?" Edward's voice surprised me. "The bell rang a little while ago."

"Oh! I guess I zoned out!" I said getting up and making a quick drop at my locker and then walking with Edward towards the gym changing rooms. We parted and I walked into the room and sat glumly on the bench next to Alice. "You could have warned me that that would suck." I told Alice as she handed me my change of clothes.

"I'm not sure that it did." She said my heart and my stomach didn't move from the six feet under position. "Oh come on Bella you need to change!" she said and I numbly began to strip and pull the shirt over my head.

"Alice?" I asked as we walked out into the gym and I froze as I saw Edward looking at me with a huge smile on his face. I was stunned he looked gorgeous even in the same cruddy gym cloths everyone was wearing. He walked towards me and spun me around and hugged me fiercely.

"You just could have told me you felt that way Bella." He said loosening his grip. I stared up at him blinking and trying to remember how to talk. "Silly girl, I love you too." He said kissing me gently before releasing me.

"Great Edward she might not come out of her stupor now!" Alice said pulling me to the bleachers. I'm pretty sure a goofy grin was spreading across my face. He loved me!? I wanted to bounce or scream or kiss him. HE HAD KISSED ME! I wanted to melt into the floor I was so happy. Alice pushed me into my seat and Edward chuckled and he sat beside me taking my hand. I had to make sure I had heard him right.

_**Do you really? Do you really love me?**_ I asked him mentally wanting him to respond now. He looked at me and smiled his crooked smile and bent to my ear.

"I do." He whispered, "I love you my Bella." He said just before the short man in front of us shouted for our attention. I don't recall a thing the short man said, Edward's words rang through my mind much too loudly to hear anything else.


	8. Finding home

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter eight

Finding home

The rest of the day was a blur. I finally came back to my senses as I was sitting on my bed staring at Edward as he leaned against the wall reading one of my books. It was a stray thought about Joe that had grounded me. How could I do this to her, I mean she loved him for most of her life?

_**Joe? **_ I questioned for a moment forgetting that Edward could hear me too. His eyes looked up from 'A Tale of Two Cities' wondering what I meant most likely. I shrugged at him and turned to see her entered the room.

_Yes? _Her tone was light but became harsher as her eyes rested on Edward. _Ah._ She said looking at me; _I have no problem with you and him Bella. I do love him but it's not the same as it was. I pity him now for what he's lost but if you don't mind that please be happy with him._ Joe had chosen to not believe in his soul, I thought it was ridiculous but I didn't argue with her anymore. I nodded and she left without another word. It was far more awkward around Joe now but nothing could be done about that.

"Sorry I just realised that she might not want us together." I said to his still curious stare. I moved to rest my head in his lap. I was blissfully happy that he felt the same as I did. He smiled down at me and brushed away a stray strand of hair.

"Ah, yes must get the families approval." He said, "Though I think they already love you here so I'm not going to bother." He finished as I laughed at him, downstairs I could tell Emmet thought Edward was hilarious. I raised an eyebrow and shook my head at him, silly vampire.

"I must say that I am kinda wondering when the bottom's going to fall out." I said contemplating my life. "I always get something and then suddenly everything shifts and I can no longer have or desire what I have." I said thinking about many of the events in my life. In the back of my mind I knew that my aging was going to be an issue. I didn't want to be separated from Edward not by age or death. I shivered at that thought, great way to kill the mood.

"What are you thinking?" he asked burning curiosity in his eyes. I laughed at this and shrugged just to make him squirm. He didn't seem to like my non-answer and began to tickle me. I shrieked and pushed away from him trying to escape his fingers which seemed to be everywhere at once. Finally at some point he decided to stop and let me breathe. I flicked him and pouted as the tip of my finger stung. Edward kissed it and I began laughing again I was too happy to think about anything but how perfect this moment was.

"Seriously can this moment never end?!" I said lying back on the bed. Edward chuckled and tickled my toes until I kicked him and nearly hurt myself.

"Okay, I'll remember not to do that again." He laughed having moved just before my foot hit him. I laughed back and moved so he could lie down on the bed too. I curled up next to him and he began to hum my lullaby and my eyes drifted shut.

****8 days later****

"Surprise!" Everyone screamed as I walked into the house I jumped and nearly screamed. Edward chuckled as he came up behind me. Well I was definitely not expecting that!

"You definitely got me." I said putting my hand over my heart, they chuckled and then Alice pulled me into the room obviously impatient to begin. The room had been transformed with streamers and balloons. There was a huge cake sitting on the table even though I was the only one that was going to be eating it. I liked it; it was shaped like a grand piano with a little bride and groom on the bench.

"Open mine first Bella," Alice said putting hers in my hands. I laughed at Alice's enthusiasm; I wasn't one for surprises or gifts and attention. I simply wasn't used to being the center of attention. But I knew better then to say anything; Alastor had reminded me this morning that vampire birthdays aren't as important as human ones. I tried to let go and just enjoy the party. I began to open the gift in my hands, it was a first addition copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I laughed as I pulled it out of the box she had wrapped it in. I tried not to think about how much it had cost as I flipped through the pages it smell ancient and wonderful. They all thought it was hilarious that I loved this book. "I am also taking you shopping." She said as if the book wasn't more than enough. I just rolled my eyes and hugged her.

"Thanks Alice I love the book." I said pointedly ignoring her comment about shopping.

"Me next!" Said Emmet as he pulled an envelope, I gave him a questioning look before taking it. I opened it and began to laugh, it was tickets to go bungee jumping and sky diving. I shook my head and hugged him. "I am going with you, at Eddies request of course." He said chuckling and picking me up in one of his bear hugs. Yeah sure more likely Edward had said no and Emmet had told him he would do it with me, to keep me safe of course. Again the price tag weighed down my mind as I was placed on my feet, but I pushed it away thinking about how much they seemed to be enjoying giving me lavish things.

"I love it, Edward may die from fright but it kinda sounds fun." I commented as Edward wrapped his hands around my waist protectively. I laughed at that and everyone joined me.

"My turn." Said Rose as she handed me a small box smiling I opened it and found a beautiful set of deep purple pearls. My mouth fell open as she picked them up and put them on me and fastening the clasp behind my head. "There from one of my stays in Spain, my parents gave me pearls on my sixteenth birthday I thought better late then never." She said smiling; I hugged her touched by her thoughts. My hand touched the pearls around my neck and no thought of price could make me not love this gift.

"Thank you." I said simply still stroking the pearls.

"If I may?" Jasper said as he held out a box much larger then the others had been, well longer. I took it looking at Jasper wondering what would be inside the box. Taking the top off I looked into the box and squealed and dropping the box hugged Jasper while bouncing! He had gotten me a rapier! Well two actually! I carefully pulled one out my eyes huge! I tossed it to Jasper and took the other one in my hand.

"Sweet! I said carefully swishing it. I bounced and hugged Jasper again. He smiled at me as he gently plunged at me and I easily blocked it and countered. Edward clearing his throat brought me back to focus and I blushed. "Thanks Jasper!" I said carefully rest the rapier on top of the table.

"Our turn I believe" Esme said smiling at me and handing me a small box. Opening it I was stunned.

"Your giving me a car?" I asked stunned. Wow. There's a price tag.

"Now, now." Said Carlisle smiling, "if you argue we'll take it back without you even seeing it." He said Esme slapping his arm laughing. I was curious now what type of car had they gotten me? I eyed Rose and she shook her head no, she didn't know.

I was dying to know now with everything Rose had told me about cars in the last few days I was really interested. I took the keys and wondered where they had parked it. "It's in the garage Bella." he replied laughing at my expression probably. I quickly ran off to the garage, I had spent so much time here with Rose I was wondering how I hadn't seen my present already. There right inside the door it stood. It was dark blue and beautiful! It was a Ferrari F430! I was drooling, Rose had told me only a few things but this was a sweet car! I started to bounce and pounced on Carlisle and Esme.

"Thank you!" I said, "I love it!" I exclaimed reminding me that money doesn't matter when you have all the time in the world to accumulate it, and spoiling me made them happy. "Since Rose hasn't seen it this means I get to help right?" I asked and everyone laughed, Rose nodded and I was even more excited. "Cool" I said wanting to get started right now.

"Hey!" Edward said pulling my attention away from the ridiculously expensive car that sat in front of me. I eyed him then remembered he hadn't giving me a present yet. He had promised me that he wouldn't spend a dime so I was being to wonder what he had gotten me.

"So...?" I asked walking towards him pouting slightly, "what did you get me?" I asked knowing he was going to tell me, but having fun teasing him.

"Well you made the silly demand that I spend no money, so I had Alice buy you something." He said smirking, I arched an eyebrow and snubbed him and walked towards the rapiers we had left on the table. His arms were around my waist in seconds. "I know I cheated but can I still give it to you?" he asked begging knowing I would cave. Drat. I nodded reluctantly. Wondering what it was. He really didn't need to buy me anything I had him and that was more than enough anything else and we were out of balance. I mean really.

Edward held a box much like the one Rose had handed me earlier. I wasn't sure I was going to like this. As I opened the box I knew that I had been right I definitely didn't like the beautiful bracelet that lay gently in this box. It was a charm bracelet. A crystal heart, a tiny grand piano, a stiletto, two crossed rapiers, a engine, a whisk, a teddy bear, text book and an easel. Edward had gotten me a small representation of my family.

"Oh Edward!" I said, I didn't like his gift I loved it! It was absolutely perfect. He put it on me and I kissed him passionately, getting a few chuckles for my enthusiasm. We parted and he knew he was forgiven for getting me a perfect gift. The rest of the night was spent with me eating cake and all of us dancing and talking about past birthdays. As I spun around the room in Edward's arms I watched my family and felt like I had finally come home.

****6 ½ months later****

"Bella?" Edward questioned lightly, I looked up from my notes and waited for his question. "Why are you studying?" he asked completely serious. I laughed at him before handing the notebook to him, once he looked at it he smiled, "Ah!" he exclaimed, "And why are you studying advanced geometry?" he asked clearly amused.

"For math class obviously." I said taking my notebook back; I started laughing at my own statement. Like senior math would ever actually require studying! "It's for my new game in class. Emmet and I well mostly Emmet will be bouncing rubber balls around the room and I need to know the angles I want him to bounce them at." I explained Edward shook his head at me. "What it's the only way that I can survive that class? I mean note passing was okay, and asking bad questions wasn't terrible, trying to basically teach the class was marvellous, and paper airplanes, sneezing, crying, and laughing all got us removed from class. I'm trying to come up with something he can't prove we were actually responsible for."

Emmet and I had been taking turns but we were running out of ideas, well good ideas. Emmet had had a few that weren't the best ideas to do in front of unsuspecting humans. If this failed I promised Emmet that he could change Whick's notes, which he relied heavily on for random math gibberish. It sounded amusing and he wouldn't be able to prove it, I was mostly worried that he wouldn't realise.

"Bella." Edward sighed shaking his head at me, he didn't approve of the games in math class. But then again he didn't like my games with Alice in English, what Bella might do at school today. Well the game was basically to freak out Edward in a way he might actually believe but it was still funny. Jasper and I had yet to get a reaction out of the other and I was beginning to think I might have to cheat.

Edward wanted me to play games like the one with Rose; it was purely educational, well after the first week. The first week it had been insults that would confuse the Dimbos' as I called them, but we changed to car part and function in Spanish once it got too complicated, the last day on insults had been hard as most of the insults were long by then because I didn't want to repeat. On the up side I now had an impressive vocabulary in Spanish!

Edward's class was the only one I didn't play a game in. We just ended up talking, me mentally and him writing notes. Even gym had a game; it was how bad we could be at sports. It was fun except when I hit Mike Newton in the face with my badminton racket. Though Edward thought it was hilarious especially when Mike apologised for getting in my way. Poor kid. In order to make it up to him I agreed to go to First Beach with him and a bunch of his friends. When I later found out I had to go by myself I wasn't pleased.

Which reminded me that was this weekend, just three days away. I wanted to cancel on Mike but he looked so happy when I talked to him the next day I chickened out. Oh well Mike, Jessica and Angela were going and I had talked to them before, other then that I pretty much stuck with my family and well mostly Edward. Why did I have to forget the treaty!?

"Bella?" Edward asked pulling me from my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I asked looking up at him from my position on the floor of the front room. He sat next to me and looked rather uncomfortable. I looked up at him trying to be patient and let him ask me whatever was on his mind.

"There's a dance coming up and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?" Edward looked sheepish at me; I tilted my head and thought about dancing with Edward at a high school dance. It was an amusing idea, I'm sure that he had gone to many dances but never with a date, not that he hadn't been asked. Looking up I knew he was beginning to get impatient. Finally I laughed and let him out of his own personal hell.

"If you want to go sure." I said not really caring for the idea then again I was only in high school because I wanted to spend time with him and my other siblings... okay that just sounded wrong.

"I would be honoured if you would go with me." He said smiling his crooked smile. I nodded and looked back to my notebook. Edward could be really weird sometimes.

It's like every little human experience was so important to him, well important that I didn't miss. He wanted me to graduate with him and Alice; I cringe at the thought of another year in high school especially since three of my siblings would have graduated then. It was like my humanity was really important to him; it was disturbing to me that my frailty was important to him. I pushed the thought aside as I played with my charm bracelet, the little diamond heart more accurately.


	9. Doubting love

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Italicized _means Bella's thoughts and those she can hear

_**Italicized bold**_ means Edward can hear it also (wont be bolded unless Edward hears it!)

Chapter nine

Doubting love

As I entered the grand mansion from Alastor's past I realised I had been ignoring my mental family. I entered the main sitting room and found only Alastor; a few months ago every one was here almost every night. I sighed and sat beside him leaning my head on his shoulder.

_I'm losing touch with all of you guys._ I said sadly fiddling with the hem of gown I always wore here that matched this place perfectly. Elegant and lush, it was a startling deep red with intricate patterns sown on the bodice and full flared sleeves. When I had first dreamed of this place while joined with Alastor I imagined a party full of people all dancing and dressed wonderfully. Though the people never arrived, Alastor and I danced happily that first night.

_We understand and accept that your place is with them. None of us mind, you enjoying reality, even if I means that we only interact with you while you sleep._ Alastor's voice was light as he assured me. It saddened me that obviously they had discussed this and that I was losing them.

_Can't I have both families?_ I asked knowing his answer. No tears I reminded myself as I wiped non-existent tears from my face. I knew what is to long for tears to realise some emotion and to not have them come.

_Perhaps not, Bella. We can not interact with the others only you._ He answered truthfully, and I leaned into his form and sighed. _You seem upset about something else. Will you tell me? _He asked and I looked up at him, he knew me so well.

_I am beginning to doubt Edward. No more like I am beginning to doubt his intensions. He seemed obsessed with my purity. It's as though that is the most important quality to him. I fear that I love him more then he does me. That he loves me only because I am innocent... clean and yet love him. _I voiced my fears to the man I considered my saviour and true father. I knew that he would tell no one unless it had to be told for my own safety.

_You have nothing to worry about. He truly loves you; he will never be able to change the deep love he has for you. He is just displaying his fears for your soul when he relishes your innocence. He knows that to keep you that you must change into one of our kind._ His words made sense but I couldn't completely believe that Edward the magnificent creature that he is could love me. I feared that even if he did now after knowing my past it would change.

The comparison between myself and him left me wanting myself to be more than I am. A plain girl that had a collection of lost souls in her head, a girl that had seen and felt horrible things, if the 46 human families didn't find enough reason to want me what chance did I have with this perfect one? Or with this perfect gorgeous talented and caring vampire family? Sure I could do neat parlour tricks and was bright but really was that enough to hold the attention of my greatest love, my Edward?

I kept these thoughts to myself knowing Alastor would comfort them and I had no desire for him to sooth me. I needed to tell Edward and have him sooth them, or leave. The thought burned me and once again I felt as though tears should fall from my dry eyes. I nodded at Alastor and he left me to my thoughts. If he did leave could I go back to my family and forget about this beautiful world I had glimpsed? Something deep within knew I was as altered by him as Alastor said he was by me though I hoped I could.

****

Waking after a night full of thinking I was more tired then when I had first laid down on my bed. I curled slightly into Edward's cold body as I tried to forget my horrible thoughts.

"Are you alright Bella?" he asked his voice full of worry. I pushed myself up to look into his eyes; there was too much pain there for it to have just been me moving towards him that had placed the emotion there. I felt my face and it was wet from the tears I hadn't shed in my dream. I nodded and tried to push a smile on my face, he didn't believe me for a moment.

"Just a hard talk with Alastor." I said half truthfully. "I have a feeling that I am loosing my mental family. I hardly interact with them anymore, and they are never in the parlour when I dream." I said trying to make my words and reactions match. He held me tightly to his chest and I prayed that he would hold me like this after I told him and the others of my past. Far too soon he pulled me away and I frowned at him.

"You will never loose us Bella. Even if they... fade as you said you will always have the rest of us." His words were soft as he consoled me and I tried to believe him as I nodded falling back to his chest. How was I going to tell the man I loved that I was more than what he believed?

"Edward?" I said hesitating, "Can we go to the meadow?" I would tell him first and see his reaction before I told the others. He nodded and smiled contently, happy that I enjoyed his meadow as much as he did. I just hope my words wouldn't taint this place for him. Maybe we should talk somewhere else, but it was too late and I couldn't take back my words.

Pushing myself up he realised I wanted to go now and moved to make it so I didn't have to climb over him to get out of bed. He left me to change with a quick kiss. Before I had moved a step closer to the closet Alice came in and sat on the bed.

"Bella?" she asked not her normal bouncy self. I knew she would see my decision to tell Edward so I looked at my hands trying to keep my emotions at bay. Her arms wrapped around me and I felt the tears start to run down my face. "It changes nothing whatever you tell us. I swear." She promised still hugging me fiercely; I nodded mutely praying that it was true. I just didn't know how it couldn't change everything. Once she untangled herself from me she smiled and went to leave the room to let me get dressed.

"He like the purple on you." She added before she vanished as the door shut. I laughed half heartedly at that it was nice that she was back to her old self. I quickly put on her recommendation and went to find Edward. His arms wrapped around my waist as soon as I left my room.

"She's right I do like you in purple almost as much as in blue." He said kissing the top of my head, "But what was that about?" he asked turning me to face him.

"We need to talk is all, I need to tell you something." I answered vaguely completely unsure of how to tell him. I pulled him towards the front door.

"You need to eat Bella." He said his voice careful and blank; he was worried about what I was going to say. The dunce still wanted me to leave him, to stay away from him. It was to protect me from his kind and what not else he said every time I rolled my eyes at him. If only he knew that I feared him leaving me not the other way around. I marched into the kitchen and kissed Esme's cheek before sitting down to my cereal.

"Morning Esme." I said as she poured the milk and kissed the top of my head. No matter how much I wanted to calling her mom didn't seem right.

"Eat up dear, then you and Edward can go." She said with only a touch of worry in her voice. They were concerned about what I had to say, as I looked at Emmet and Jasper after inhaling my breakfast I knew they were all worried about what I was going to tell Edward. I tried to push all of my jumbled emotions down as I smiled by at them.

Sitting in the car as he drove part of the way cause running made me nauseous. It was kind of him considering it took long to drive then run. I stared out the window and tried to organize my thoughts, it wasn't going well. Edward was so tense next to me and I kept looking at him out the corner of my eye to see he had actually turned to stone.

"Relax Edward. I'm not running away." I said finishing the thought in my head, though you might. I was sad that even though he nodded he remained rigid. We were off to a great start. The car stopped a few minutes after that and I tried to calm down.

"Bella your hearts pounding." He said his voice just as careful as before. I wanted to cry but pushed it down and tried harder to slow my heart. I smiled weakly at him and he didn't even bother trying to return one.

"Maybe we should just talk here." I said thinking of how this would ruin his special place. He looked at me and waited for me to begin. I stared out in front of me as I thought of the right way to say what I had to. "You know that I have lived in many different places, 46 before with you." I said and he nodded slightly. "Well, most of them were not the nicest places as I told you that day under the piano." I said hoping this was the right way to tell him my past.

"Yes." He said both encouraging me to go on and that he remembered that day. I nodded back and tried to empty my voice of emotion.

"What I didn't tell you is that Alastor wasn't always able to protect me. He did his best but it takes a lot to be able to join and I wasn't strong enough to..." I said trying to find the right words. There was a breeze against my face and suddenly I wasn't in the car anymore I was wrapped in Edward's arms.

"I won't let anyone hurt you Bella." He cooed in my ear. I wanted to just let it go and let him comfort me but he didn't understand he couldn't.

"No Edward. You have to know." I said forcing myself out of his arms. I knew he had let me but I walked away from him trying to collect my thoughts. I sat down on a fallen tree and started again. "I wasn't strong enough to help him help me. I was exhausted from constantly fighting. I just wanted the stupid man to kill me. I didn't realise what he wanted." I said tears streaming down my face as I tried to get the words out. Edward knelt in front of me pain clearly written in his eyes and on his face.

"I just let him... I didn't fight... I..." I said my voice cracking from emotion. I slipped to the ground and held Edward's face in my hands memorizing it. "When he was... done I was so ashamed and angry that I grabbed the lamp beside me and hit him. I didn't realise I had killed him with the one hit but I continued to hit him." I said feeling cold. "I ran from him and that house and hated myself, I just wanted to die." I said my voice even and as cold as I felt. Edward's eyes had snapped to my face as I spoke.

"Alastor forcibly took control to stop me. I just wanted to die. I should have died." I said voicing my thoughts forgetting he didn't know I had jumped from a bridge. "The water was cold but I relished it. For so long the pain was too much and every time I tried to make it stop Alastor forced me to stop." I said for a moment hating Alastor. Edward just sat there staring at me shock clear in his face.

"I'm a monster. He was asleep and I beat him to death." I said trying to make myself feel something. "When the found me on the shore I played dumb and they just thought I was a victim. They sent me back into the foster system as though nothing had happened." I finished seeing only the past. I was trapped in it, his face and hands I could feel them use me and throw me away.

"Bella." Edward sobbed pulling me into his arms, my eyes wide and my body rigid. I didn't understand I was a monster why was he holding me like I was everything? I was so shocked that I just stared at him. "I won't let anyone hurt you. You are my life!" he said fiercely looking into my eyes.

"But I..." I said knowing it was true. "I killed him because he wanted me." I said trying to understand Edward's reaction. He should be disgusted barely able to look at me. I was used, filthy a murderer! I shook my head as he held me tighter, tears flowing down my face.

"He hurt you, you defended yourself!" He said as I shook in his arms. "Bella you know my past how could you think I would hate you for this?" he pleaded with me.

"I hate me! I hate that Alastor forced me to live!" I sobbed in his arms. He made soothing patterns on my back as I calmed down. This was the reaction I wanted so why did I want him to hate me?

"I don't hate you Bella. I could never hate you. You were just protecting yourself." He said softly over and over until it stopped sounding like words and I just listened to his voice. By the time I was able to think the sun had long since left the sky and it was cold.

"Why?" he asked me without letting go. "Why would you try to end your life?" his voice cracked as he said this. I was limp in his arms resting my head on his chest.

"I didn't want to live as a monster capable of killing a man, even if he did hurt me." I answered in a whisper knowing he would hear me. The words still ring true, there has been many times since then that I have thought of ending my life. Mostly when one of my foster parents was abusive, and I wanted to kill them for what they did to me or anyone else in the house. They were the times hardest to ignore what I was capable of.

"You aren't a monster, I am more of a monster than you." Edward stated softly, I knew he had killed people but they were horrible people. And he had decided even then that he could no longer live that way.

"But you are strong enough to change, I've thought about harming others so often in my life that I know if pushed to far I would and could kill them." I answered shame rushing through me.

"But you didn't." He stated not asked. How could he be so sure that I hadn't killed anyone else? I closed my eyes.

"I am guilty of much. When I do manage not to act someone else pays for it with there life, I f I do act then I directly take I life. There's no way for it not to end without me as a monster." I said thinking of Jonathan so helpless and I let him die. Tears fell from my already red and swollen eyes. "I am responsible for so much pain." I mumble as I pressed my face into in cool chest.

"You are not responsible for the actions of others Bella. You can't control the outcome when your not the strongest in the fight." He said lifting me up and carrying me back to the car. "Your frozen." He said at my squeak. I lay there in his arms and tried to believe him. I wasn't responsible? Then how come I felt so guilty?

On the drive back I stared at him and realised I was a fool to think that he would leave. He had killed people before; it probably shocked him that I had too. But...?

"Why are you staring at me Bella?" he asked keeping his eyes on the road. He was angry but at me or what?

"Your angry." I stated and he flicked his eyes to my face.

"Not at you Bella. I just wish I had been able to protect you from all of that." He answered; I was relieved when he said this taking my hand in his. He still loved me.

"I love you." I said simply resting my head against the glass. He smiled at me and kissed me hand.

"As I love you." He said turning into the long drive. We were home and I was nervous again. What would Esme and Carlisle think of me? Would they be ashamed? "They love you Bella, this changes nothing." He said as he parked the car.

"Could you?" I asked not sure I could tell them what I had done. I wasn't even sure if I could handle being in the room. He nodded and opened my door for me helping me out of the car. I could stand on my own but my walk was shaky. Edward stayed close to me but let me walk up the steps to the front door when I was suddenly hugging Alice.

"Changes nothing." She whispered, I tensed and then relaxed into her hug. When she finally let go she led me to the front room and sat me down on the couch curling into my side, clearly not going to let go of me anytime soon. I was grateful for her support as the rest of the family entered the room, Esme flew to my side and I felt another pair of arms holding on to me. I must look like such a mess.

"Bella has something she wants me to tell you." Edward stated as their faces all turned to me each showing a different mask of concern. I held on to Alice and Esme as Edward spoke at vampire speed filling them in on my horrid past. Esme's grip tighten as she sobbed, I maintained my grip. My eyes never leaving my lap, I was just trying to survive their reactions.

"Good." Rosalie said as she sat on the floor in front of me lifting my face. "I hate that this happened to you and the pain it has caused but I am glad you killed him. He needed to die." She said and I knew she understood my pain, she had told me her story two months ago when she decided I should know. The only reason I had the strength to tell Edward was because she had told me. I smiled at her and she smiled back brushing the tears aside.

"If you hadn't of gotten we would be hunting him down baby sister." Emmet said his voice full of rage at a man long dead. I smiled as he called me baby sister, it was obvious that this hadn't changed anything with Emmet. Jasper stood next to him and nodded.

"You have nothing to feel guilty for Bella. You did nothing wrong." Jasper said using the same words Edward has chosen, I smirked at this but I was glad the Major was still with me. I felt Esme let go of me and turn my head to look at her.

"Never ever hurt yourself again!" she said kissing my forehead and cheeks. "I am not loosing you!" she said completely serious and I nodded. I was filled with joy that she loved me, truly loved me.

"Of course, mom." I said hugging her to me. I heard her gasp at my words and hug me tighter. She was my mom, I was sad that I thought so little of her to think she would love me less. As I let go of her my eyes landed on Carlisle he hadn't moved since Edward had finished talking. His eyes met mine and he came to me pulling me of the couch and into his arms, his grip tight and strong. These were arms that I felt safe in, loved. He said nothing as he kissed my head and held me. He didn't need to say a word as I felt his love pouring out of him.


	10. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; it is the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Epilogue

As I sat encased in Edward's arms, watching some random movie, I thought about the time I had spent with the Cullens. I had come here a frightened isolated and potentially crazy 16 year old girl that barely knew anything about normalcy or family. Now I was a happily married new-born vampire with a wonderful family that I loved dearly and who loved me. It was a nice surprise to still be myself on the other side and not one that anyone expected it, I guess joining with Alastor gave me some of his control. But who knows I just like having Edward as my main focus and not being too different. So far I have a clean slate and I desperately want to keep it that way.

Losing Alastor and the others had been hard but they wanted what was best for me. I had gotten to say good bye to them. We hadn't been sure if they would remain once I was changed and sadly they faded away. Though I could recall their lives memories and thoughts perfectly, Carlisle said it probably had something to do with my gift changing as I went through the change. It was nice to at least have a piece of them with me even if the old mansion is no longer in my dreams.

The wedding had been beautiful, as only Alice could manage. Everyone had been there, my mental family included. It was a stipulation of mine, get married so they could see me happy and moving into a bright future just in case they didn't come with me. I was glad I had planned it that way. It took me a few days to really come to terms with them being gone I kept expecting them to be there when I fell asleep only to be disappointed when I remembered that I no longer slept.

Life was going well and it only looked like it would get brighter as time passed, I was home. I am now officially Isabella Marie Mason Cullen and I loved the sound of it.

Especially when Edward calls me Mrs. Cullen.

****

Okay so that's the story I would love to hear what you think of it. I know its a fairly short story but it would be a stretch to add anything much more into the mix. I was working on another path for the last chapter and this one but I think this works better and is more true to Bella and Edward's relationship. Since she is so much more experienced I think that this was the right path.

Horrible? Decent? Love it?

Please review I want to know what you think! Pretty please! With a sparklepire on top?

Thanks and happy reading!


End file.
